mind.of.the.married.woman

Road trip

2011-12-20T09:21:00.003+08:00

3 more days to our road trip and there is so much more that needs to be done! Most importantly is the roadtax for the van! I hope Iskandar sorts that out by today. I'm still chasing this maid agent for our refund. I hate how they are always trying to delay the payment, when if its the other way round, they will not give you an extra day's delay in paying up. Bastards really.

Anyway, I'm so excited for this trip and can't wait to get on the road. It's been many many many years since I've experienced xmas at Singapore and I still remember how beautiful it was!I know, i know its not really much of a "dream vacation" but mostly, I'm just glad to get away with my little family. It was a pretty last minute decision too and Singapore seems like the best and closest destination.

We plan to stop by the JPO to see what its all about, since its along the way anyway. I'm only aiming for the Ferragamo outlet je. perhaps get some stuff for the kids too. They are outgrowing their clothes so fast!

BUT, until then, there's a lot of things on my plate i need to clear. I have another survey at KLIA and Cyberjaya. not forgetting the pile of ironing that needs to be done...sigh..seems like I've been on laundry duty FOREVER.

Just so you know

2011-12-08T14:34:00.001+08:00

It’s been a while since the last entry. Honestly, there hasn’t been much happening lately other than the usual maid dramas, sick kids, travels, school problems ..normal stuff. But I think for the sake of keeping the blog current, let me just briefly cerita the significant going-ons in my life since the last update..

Went for my first offshore platform visit which was awesome! The anticipation and anxiety leading to the trip was so nerve-wrecking though, since it was scheduled to be right smack in the mid of the stormy monsoon season. It rained heavily at the airport all morning and the flight was postponed several times. But in the end, the journey there and back couldn’t be more smooth. Perfect weather, perfect flight, everything went perfect. The platform itself could be better though. To quote James who came with me, “It’s like living in a house with a 100 teenage boys”.

Imran’s school dilemma. We took Imran for a second meeting with Mutiara Intl school, this time it’s Imran alone with the principal. The meeting went well I suppose, the principal was quite entertained with the meeting. While waiting for him, I sneaked around the corridors, just to see the kids and the classrooms sessions. And the difference between this and what I went through in school was tremendous. Maybe I’m just not used to seeing kids being so vocal and loud, confident too. They speak with their slangs and all and you can tell that these kids come from very, very rich families. At that moment I sort of fear on what this could do to a simple Malay boy like Imran. The parent in me is sort of torn between the Western style and the local style of educating. As much as I want him to be a bright, confident child, I do need to make sure he is well educated and can fit in wherever he goes. The kids at Mutiara I saw were 99% foreign kids and it worries me that Imran will be trapped in a clash of cultures and peer pressure. No doubt the curriculum is fantastic and they do make sure kids have a healthy balance of class, arts & craft, sports but at the end of the day, we still live in Malaysia and our culture and theirs are two separate worlds. I fear that Imran will have a tough time adapting to the differences, being so young. And with the staggering fees the school demands year upon year, it is just not worth our time worrying. So after much thought, we decided to stick with the public school and perhaps enroll him into creative classes outside of school, whatever interests him, just so he mixes around with the local KBSR kids as well as the other middle/upper class kids at the private extra classes. I do hope we made the right decision coz I still feel tak sedap hati..

The next week onwards will be interesting for all of us. Imran will be going on a school camp for 3 days which I hope he will enjoy after being stuck at home for the past coupla months. I’ll be traveling a bit to Kedah and for the weekend, we will all pack up n go for a quick getaway to PD..and the week after that we will drive further down to Singapore to spend the Christmas hols. Yes..quite a lot of spending is anticipated and hopefully we will have enough in the bank to last til the next paycheck!

Home away from home

2011-09-26T19:36:00.002+08:00

I'm away from home, again. In my hotel room, again. Alone, again.

Last Sunday I had a bit of a meltdown over the finished butter for my usual brekkie (like, wtf right!) and drove out in a dramatic rant to the nearest mamak for an hour's binge session of roti canai + nescafe tarik.

Now that I am finally alone in a different state from all that chaos that is my household, I feel homesick as hell! I miss my two munchkins and bapak munchkin too and would do anything to go back to that Sunday - I would've taken them out with me to the mamak just for that extra moment with them :(

Anyway, I'm only away for 3 days. And it's already end of Day 1. Takyah la over2 drama kan.

So to drown my sorrows tonite, I am bargain hunting online :D hehhehe..Joy. Fashionvalet.net is such an evil site i tell ya! hahahha! Serious damage on my visa this month. But that kaftan was SO worth every penny :)))

Sorrows drowned indeed.

29th Ramadhan 1432

2011-08-29T12:08:00.003+08:00

I am one of the handful few at work today. The towers feel so empty and deserted with most people off for the long raya break. Having both sets of parents within the same postcode / street sorta makes raya planning much less of a hassle, in terms of splitting our time between both houses. As usual, will head to Kemansah for buka later, and non-stop stuffing our faces while the kids go crazy with the bunga apis and firecrackers, courtesy of my brother, the pyro expert. An annual event which I so look forward to every time.

So since everyone else in my dept are traveling out of KL for the hols, I felt it appropriate for me to stay in and hold the fort, so to speak. Not that it's that much of a chore, really. The phones haven't been ringing since 8.30am and emails are non too important rather than the normal Raya greetings. Basically, I'm just vegging here looking at the clock..sooo bored!

This Ramadhan is no different than the last, I suppose. Just a little hiccup here and there when the kids fell sick but other than that it's been just normal, long and boring. I'm quite pleased with myself for being able to dodge the many2 buka puasa invitations this year tho! I only went to one at KLConvex which was so disappointing. Makes me sound like a total ungrateful person which is so not the case. I think having gone to SOOO many hotels all around town over the past Ramadhans has made me sorta buffet-savvy, hahaha! So when the food is so-so, I feel like it's a total waste of time and money (not mine thankfully, but that's not the point) no matter if the buffet spread goes about 1km long. I'd rather be home with my husband and kids, eating whatever Mummy tapau-ed for us and enjoying each others' company, any time. And without having a maid at home, this means having to do all the house chores myself, usually I'll be off with the laundry basket, mop and broom after prayers, only to be done by about midnight, if I'm lucky.

Yesterday we did the last of our Raya shopping, got Imran his shoes, songkok and butang baju. Had chicken and salmon teppanyaki dinner at the newly opened Tokyo Street at Pavilion which was SUPERB!! Can't wait to try the Japanese sweets next. Forgot what they were called, they look like mini kuih paus with sprinklings and come in many different fillings and look so so pretty! They were sold out when we got there so they must be really good too. I hope they are open during Raya!

Attack of the Rotavirus

2011-08-18T14:01:00.004+08:00

The kids and Iskandar were down with rotavirus last week. Yes, yes, the kids’ paed would be laughing at us now for not taking the rotavirus vaccine jabs for the kids he tried so hard to push us to take. Its just that the vaccination costs a bomb and rotavirus is such a foreign disease to us, therefore we take for granted that it will not get to our kids. But it did, and big time! All my nieces and nephews had it, sis in law and bro was down too. Worse, my mum in-law, BIL and the maid was also infected. Poor things! All of them had the same symptoms, V&D, nausea and mild fever. Thankfully I was spared of all the “action”. My body, I must say has been quite “robust” for me in that I rarely get tummy aches like this, touch wood. Some ppl would say I have “lining perut besi” hehehe.

Everyone has recovered from it. Imran still acts as though he has it, purposely refusing food and stuff and blaming on his tummy when he’s perfectly fine (I can so tell when he’s pretending so please don’t think that I’m not taking him seriously). He had a bit of a tumble last Monday and we had to rush him to TTMC to get his forehead fixed. The gash was big and deep, I feared that he would need stitches but the “pretty doctor” (imran’s nickname for Dr.Ellyza) said that they will just fix it up with glue. Wow really! He was really brave throughout the gluing process, thank God. I told him that the pretty doctor is fixing his head with a laser so he can be like Ben10. Saja, just to distract him a bit. He was so proud of having been “laser-ed” on his head and was happily showing off the “Ben10 laser” mark to his friends at school.

But my Mia is having the worse time, what with the rotavirus and then she contracted the flu pulak. Vomiting and coughing away all day and nite and refusing food and milk. Not her choice to refuse but she knows that she will start coughing and everything she ate will come out again. Vomiting really hurts so she end up not eating anything at all except for a few nibbles of cookies and bread. I insist that she finishes her dinner every night just so she has some sustenance. But as for milk, she’s totally not taking any at all.

This was how she looked like when she had rotavirus, my poor baby.

So yeah it’s been a little crazy at home, with the sleepless nights and cleaning/mopping/cuci tilam sessions in the middle of the night. She looks better this morning though so I think we made it through the worst part.

I’m still not taking the rotavirus vaccination for the kids though!

Bye-bye Kat

2011-08-17T11:04:00.004+08:00

Our beloved Kat died on the wee hours Saturday. Part of me died with him too. He was much loved by us, ever since he came into our lives as a baby kitten 3 years ago. He ventured out some nights though I’ve warned him many times not to. His love for the outdoors never seem to be hindered with all our efforts to keep him in the house. And it was during one of his nightly escapades that he was killed.

When I checked his body the next morning I couldn’t find any cuts, bruises or injuries that would give me a clue as to how he died. I just hoped and prayed that death came quick and did not hurt this beloved Kat of mine. I could not contain my tears as I wrapped him up in his favorite bath towel and laid him in the grave Iskandar dug, in our backyard where he liked to run around while I hang the laundry.

The day went by so slowly and I kept tearing up as I cleaned his food bowl and kept away his treats and canned fish. I missed him terribly in the afternoon where he’s always sprawled on the floor, sleeping or just cuddling up to me when I take my nap on the couch. I miss Kat and I wish I was kinder to him when all he wants was an extra bowl of fish..a cuddle..or just to hang out with me. I know he’s in a better place..and Robin is showing him the ropes up in heaven where he can do this all day...

Thank you Kat for loving us..we all miss you.

* this entry was actually written about a month ago..but I only managed to put this up today. A lot has been happening in our lives lately that's been keeping me from updating my blog.
More to come.

Good evening Saigon!

2011-06-22T20:05:00.005+08:00

My daughter turned 2 today. What a special day for this special little girl of mine..and how miserable I am to be thousands of miles away from her on this special day. sigh..I hope she doesn't hate me for being away so long this time. And more so coz I'm not with her to celebrate her birthday. I do hope she understands and forgives me for it. And I do hope to be lucky enough to be able to spend future birthdays with her. Even when she's 30 and I'm errr..a 100? :P

Anyway, I'm in this lovely city of Saigon..taking in the sights and sounds of the streets from my overly big hotel room at Sheraton. I can get lost in a room this big! I'm here for 3 days, on a survey at one of the plants down in Vung Tao. I hope i spelt that right hehe. I can't wait to get work done and over with so we can get on to the fun part -- SHOPPING! From the hotel, I can see rows upon rows of awesome shops to be explored, bargains to be made! so exciting! I just hope the guys I came with don't mind chaperoning me while I work the shops.. I'm not berani enough to go on my own. But, worse comes to worst, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do rite!

Ok, gotta hop in the shower now. Meeting the boys for dinner in half hour. I'm kinda looking forward to trying the famous Vietnamese beef noodle or pho while I'm here. Not sure if there are halal ones though. Anyway, maybe I shouldn't be too adventurous in picking my dinner tonite as we have an early morning call tomorrow for the plant meeting..the cars' coming to fetch us bright and early at 6am! yikes!

It's the end of an era!

2011-05-25T11:25:00.002+08:00

My husband that sneaky old man recently swapped my good, trusty, mobile phone with a smartphone he bought while I was upstairs napping on an unusually rainy Sunday afternoon. The nerve! It was so annoying trying to type a simple text msg as I keep on miss-spelling my words! Those bloody touchscreen keypads are so frustrating! Grr..next thing I know, he signed me up on a basic data plan and started downloading all these strange things called “apps” (?) on to the phone. I’m slowly learning to swipe the screen to scroll and type (the trick is to use de tip of my nails!) and I have to admit, this new little gadget is starting to grow on me – gasp! Sorry, my darling Nokia! You have served me well but you do understand that our beautiful relationship has to somewhat..end right?

One of my girl besties got married recently and last Saturday was the reception at Eastin Hotel. OMG it was such a beautiful wedding! The setting was so romantic with pastel colors blended with silver and dangling crystals just gives it a magical effect. I remembered her weeks before the day, stressed and overwhelmed with all the wedding preparations plus having to pacify and satisfy the preferences of her family and the would-be inlaws (didn’t we all? hehe). But wow did it all turn absolutely perfect. I wish I took pictures from the night but yeah I was still using my old 2G camera-less phone hehehe. I can’t wait to see the official wedding photos.

Few years back when I revived this blog, I wrote about the funny baby words/pronunciation created by Imran.
Now, it’s Mia’s turn to create her own vocab;

Apam = Abang = Imran
MIIIYAAA = Mia
Tumi = Tokmi
Loon = Balloon
Toti = Roti
Tanana = Banana
Sisa = Lisa (her baby cousin)
Atin = Drink
Sayam = Salam
Cads = Scared (when she hears the sound of thunder)
Tars = Star
Tiak = Ketiak (her favorite body part)

Kiki Yau = Mickey Mouse

On to other developments – the inlaws are moving to their new house this weekend. YES. Enough said.

SuperHotMom is back!

2011-05-11T17:21:00.002+08:00

A month of being without domestic help, I must say we’re doing quite alright. Despite the exhaustion from running around, feeding the kids, laundry, making sure Kat is home from his daily adventures, sweeping, clearing the dishes and tucking the brats in bed, I feel quite happy and satisfied that things are still well under control. I don’t miss having a maid around at all, except for during the occasional trips out with the kids and both decide to be hyperactive and restless, therefore we end up being back home sooner than we’d like for fear of being arrested for public nuisance. But that also doesn’t happen often and most of the time we survived. I also noticed that I’m spending (wasting) less money on random shopping binges after work as I now have to rush home every day to fetch the kids from Mummy’s.

Most nights I only get to sit down and have dinner past 10pm when everything is sorted. But my day doesn’t end there, as I would still have to sort out the kids stuff for the next day and cleaning up the dining and kitchen before I shower and call it a night. I can hardly keep my eyes open through a full episode of House which is so upsetting as I’m loving the Huddy storyline this season!

Thank god I have the most helpful and handy hubby around to help with the heavy stuff. Like mowing the lawn, rubbish duties and Rainbow-ing the house. The Rainbow is a superb cleaning machine but its so bloody heavy to lug around. Iskandar does a great job with it.

The only thing that still needs to be worked on is getting the kids back on their routine at Tokmi’s house, which I think is quite impossible. They pretty much get to do/eat/watch whatever they want and of course that means eating junkfood, watching sinetrons, and skip their daytime naps. Which on some days can be hell to me as the kids will be too exhausted and super hyper by the time we get home at night to:- have a proper dinner / do homework / brush their teeth / be normal. Nothing much we can do there which is so frustrating..

One night the screaming madness got so bad that I ended up sending both kids off to bed with a scolding, without finishing their dinner. Imran was quite happy to escape a meal but Mia cried and cried until she vomited! I can’t remember ever scolding her that bad before that night. After the kids have both quiet down and settled to sleep, did it finally hit me how terrible I was to them. I forgot my vow to them that they will always come first no matter what, but that night all I cared for was that the kids are off to bed so I can move on with my chores! The realization knocked me so bad and I cried until Iskandar had to come home as he was worried about my little breakdown :P

It’s much better now that I have a “contingency” plan for these kinda situations. Things have been much more fun and I so look forward everyday to coming home to the kids, screaming and all.

I can do this!

The day my heart stopped

2011-04-21T11:02:00.000+08:00

2 weeks ago, at about 1.20pm, I had the worst experience of my life. In fact, I almost died.

It all started with a phonecall from my Dad, asking if anyone’s at home. They were outside the gate, to send Imran home from school. No one answered the doorbell, they rang and call a hundred times. Something wasn’t right so I called Iskandar. He confirmed that MIL didn’t take my daughter and the maid out, they should be at home. My mum called after that, saying that my Dad spotted a bunch of keys near the plants and suspected something wrong so he climbed over. Tried to open the door with the keys but couldn’t. Our house was dead quiet.

I tried to keep calm but inside, my heart just stopped. My daughter was left with the maid at home that morning and usually she will come running to the door to welcome her brother home. Something was terribly wrong here. I quickly jumped on the train and headed home. That’s when Iskandar called to tell me that my Dad had managed to open the grill and found the maid gone. Mia was apparently still sleeping in her room, safe and sound. When I heard my phone ring and it was Iskandar I almost didn’t want to pick up coz I was expecting the worse, i.e. the maid took my daughter with her and that I would never see her again but thankfully I found the courage to answer the phone and with such relief, knowing my baby girl is safe and oblivious to what was going on.

For some reason, Iskandar and I both found ourselves not discussing as much on this sudden escape of the maid. In fact, we moved on almost immediately. Got ourselves together, cleared up her room, threw away all her stuff and went about doing the household cleaning as usual. We did not bring the topic up at all, except when family members called upon finding out. That too, we only gave out straight answers, non-speculative. No what-ifs, whys.

On my part, the reason why I chose not to talk about this was because of the feeling of HUGE, ENORMOUS fear that I could have lost my child forever that day. I do not want to recall that day as it would bring back how horrible the feeling was and especially how terrible I felt for failing as a mother to protect my child. It was the most stupid mistake anyone can make, leaving her child with a non-family member, a stranger. No doubt the maid’s been with us for almost 2 yrs and had told us that she intended to stay and work with us for another year. She was, almost family to us. ALMOST. STILL A STRANGER.

Another reason was that I was so shocked at her betrayal of trust. It brought out this deep hatred, and raging anger I’ve never felt against a person, in my lifetime. And I know that talking about it will make the rage and bitterness surface again, and I do not want to waste a single second of my life with such negative emotions. What more on someone as worthless as a maid.

I swear I will never let such things happen again. Never again.

Another milestone for Imran!

2011-04-05T12:46:00.002+08:00

One of the reasons I dread coming home from work lately is doing the piles of homework with Imran. I know, it’s for his own good bla, bla, to practice his reading, writing, mathematics skills but sometimes after a long day at work, the last thing I need is the added stress in guiding Imran to write properly, count correctly and color within the lines (biggest challenge!).

I expected the teachers to be understanding to us working parents and leave homework for weekends only, but NOO... So every night, I sit patiently with him, helping him through his homework, which usually turns into shouting screaming sessions when Imran gets frustrated for having to re-do it over and over again, not getting it right, or there’s just simply too much to do, too close to his bedtime. My poor son.

And then last night, I checked his homework to find three pages of reading and writing homework to do..ugh :P..so I set up the table and Imran took out his color pencils and pencils and started right away. And to my surprise, he was doing it on his own!!! My baby boy is READING on his own!! I was so so thrilled but tried to suppress it so as not to distract him with my tears of joy :P but inside, I am bursting with pride. He easily finished the reading assignment and matched the words to the correct pictures within seconds, like a pro. And thanks to that, we finished homework within less than 5 minutes, record time! But most importantly, scream/shout/tear-free :D So clever, my Imran!

So I guess all that stressful hard work did pay off finally. I’m gonna start buying more simple storybooks for him to practice. Thanks to Aunty Dorrine for making us do all that homework :D

Lat

2011-04-05T12:22:00.002+08:00

Last Thursday I took my parents out to watch Lat – Kampung Boy the Musical at Istana Budaya. It was my mum’s birthday the day before so I thought of doing something different with her other than the standard birthday card and cake (which I still gave her anyway! From Bisou, no less). Iskandar also took Papa out to watch it coz we both feel that he needs some time out from the chaos of the house renovation and erm..Mummy hehe.

Anyway, it was such an awesome show!!! I was so so impressed, especially with the boy who played the young Lat. What a talented bunch of actors and good singers the cast were. And not forgetting Douglas Lim, whose dancing got me laughing till my sides hurt. And I must say, this is the first time in my life that I’d say this, but that Awie sure is funny, and is such the perfect person to play the adult Lat. My only complain, which is nothing really, is that I wish the show was shorter coz I had a bit of a struggle to keep my eyes open – it had been a long day at work for me and I was exhausted by the time I reached IB, no thanks to the traffic jam. And I wished they elaborated a bit on how Lat “lured” Pa’e to return to his kampong with the kids, after the huge fight with Pa’e at the hospital when Lat missed the birth of his 4th child. She just turned up at the kampong with all the kids, which is totally strange given how angry she was with Lat.

Most of all, I’m glad that my parents and Papa all enjoyed the show, it was so hard to get the tickets as they were sold out to the last show next week!

My daredevil daughter

2011-03-29T09:22:00.001+08:00

I was awaken in the wee hours of Monday to sounds of Mia screaming her lungs out. Literally jumped out of bed and scrambled out our bedroom door, only to find Mia standing outside, tears streaking down her lovely eyes, screaming. As I quickly picked her up and cuddled her in my arms, it suddenly hit me – how the hell did she get out of her cot???? The cot gates are pushed up to the max highest level and I thought it would be impossible for a 21-month old baby to climb out. I mean, seriously. I don’t think even Imran can climb out of the cot, it was THAT high. I prayed that somehow the cheap Ikea rug cushioned her fall a bit, but I searched her head and body for bumps but didn’t find any. Thank god. She calmed down after a bit of cuddling and I gave her a bottle of milk which she finished happily afterwards. She couldn’t sleep again after all that excitement and since my alarm clock is due to go off in about an hour I decided to let her cuddle with me in bed for a bit. Until today I cannot comprehend how she managed to climb out. Anyway, I’m not taking anymore chances and I’ve laid down a thick comforter with pillows on the carpet next to the cot in case she decides to be adventurous again. At least until I can find a nice decent toddler bed for her..for now, I’m just thankful that my little munchkin is safe and sound despite her little mishap.

Quick update!

2011-02-22T16:58:00.002+08:00

Since our camera went kaput we have been forced to minimize taking photos of the kiddies and stuff we did, limited by the memory space in our camera phones. Which is really unfortunate coz it means not being able to capture the moments they cross their milestones. Imran, has become quite a pro at going to the toilet nowadays. No more tears of protests, he just goes without being told and does his thing, and the washing afterwards (hands only lah, I still have to help him to wash his bum). I won’t forget that day when he came up to me and said “Mummy, can u hold my Sugus please? I want to go pangsai”, and conveniently plops a half-chewed Sugus in my hand! He does a lot of things on his own actually, come to think of it, from switching on the PC to find his online Ben10/Spiderman/Batman games, brushing his teeth, dressing himself, getting his snack from the fridge to fixing his car seatbelt. Eating is still a struggle but much, much better than those days. You can see he quite enjoys food and has acquired a taste for mamak food!

As for Mia, wow, I’m so so surprised with how fast she’s growing! She’s turning into quite the character, diva-like, sometimes, not that we mind coz she’s so cute and all, with those big eyes, demanding us around! Yes, she gets what she wants, this pretty princess. Lately she’s becoming more demanding, making me stay with her in the room at bedtime until she falls asleep. She screams bloody murder the second she sees me trying to sneak out, which I did anyway, but magically enough, settles back to sleep when I don’t come back in to soothe her. Very auta! She’s very chatty (in her own language) and I can imagine having to layan all her “But why, Mummy?” questions when she’s old enough. Oh and don’t she love to dance!! Put on any music and she’ll start bopping up and down, shaking her little diaper booty n all!

Together, they drive us crazy sometimes, fighting over toys, lollypops, anything! But I know Imran adores his kid sister and enjoys teasing her and singing with her, esp. her favorite song, Twinkle2 Little Star and they both are Bieber fans!

These two “monkeys” and my gorgeous husband is such an enormous blessing in my life and to ask for more would be just plain greedy. But I know rezeki di tangan Tuhan and I can only hope for the best for my family.

Life is good :)

One step closer

2011-01-28T22:36:00.002+08:00

to that elusive bikini bod!!yes i've finally dragged my lazy ass to the gym and signed up. thanks to my colleague who agreed to be my gym partner. love u syaff! anyway, i started yesterday with just a light workout and learning to work the weights with the gym instructor. felt so good after that i decided to be brave and join the step aerobics class today.. AND DAMN it was GREAT!! no doubt the steps were tricky to follow but soon enuf i was bopping up n down w the rest of the class. it was awesome! sweat buckets!i can't wait for next week's class but i hear its gonna be cancelled coz of the long CNY hols..boo!!

anyway, with all the gym excitement, i did a major boo-boo..forgot to tell iskandar that i need him to do the money transfer thing for the maid by today..coz apparently the lazy banks of cambodia will be closed until after CNY and her family needs the $$$ to buy stuff. he was SOOOOO upset with me coz he alredi told me much earlier today was gonna be a crazy tight day with meetings n de big interview after lunch. i dunno lah, lately my memory seems to be slacking quite a bit. i remember the littlest detail but miss out on the major important stuff.

another thing he scolded me about is how it seems to him that i'm always forgetting my priorities when it comes between the kids/maid and work. NOW THAT I CANNOT ACCEPT. i forgot one thing and it means i don't pull my weight in this family?? that's just bullshit! BUT..at the risk of snapping and saying things i will regret later, i shall bite my tongue and say nothing. agree to disagree, right? sometimes it's just not worth the time arguing. ill just let it go, like water under the bridge.

just tucked my little angels into bed and gonna tuck myself in next. it's been a long day.

good night world.

Notorious I.M.R.A.N.

2011-01-25T22:29:00.005+08:00

Argh!!! it's been another crazy night w imran again! lately he's been testing our patience to the max! earlier tonite, as usual he took close to 2hrs at the dinner table and when i went upstairs w Mia, he took his bowl to the kitchen and dumped the food in the bin! I was so pissed upon finding out but even more fired up when he flat out denied doing it! So for another night, I sent him up to his room for early bedtime, not before giving him a smack.

Days like these i wish the kids are all grown up so i can have some peace and quiet at home. They say it gets worse and i can't imagine what's worst than a 5-yr old imran. a 6-yr old imran??

Anyway, on to the positives now. I bought Mia a shape-block toy today, you know, the one where you're supposed to match the block to its right shape hole. and to my surprise, she got it right less than an hour of playing! she's so smart. sometimes i forget she's only 1 and a half. i'm teaching her shapes now and she's learnt star (her favorite) and circle. She picks up the blocks one by one asking "o-this?" as in "what's this". It's so adorable melts my heart every time :)

Just by writing this post it must be clear to anyone reading who my favorite kid at the moment is. Don't get me wrong, I love them both to bits and it's a horrible thing to think it, let alone write it for all to see. I just wonder which part of parenting did i get wrong or is this normal for kids his age. I'm limiting his tv watching and have stopped sending him to Tokmi's house after school, when i noticed he'd picked up bad language from hanging out w de bigger kids over there. But so far I see very little progress. I do talk to him about this negative behavior and it seems at that time that he understood how much this upset me. Seems like he's forgotten his promises again. I hate to repeat myself over and over again like a broken record. But he's only 5 and maybe he needs more "positive reinforcement" instead.

Ok, I'm gonna look up options on "positive reinforcements" now before I call it a day. Hope it works.

Wish me luck.

Good nite.

That time of the year again

2010-12-28T09:22:00.005+08:00

It's the last week of 2010 and the office is literally empty. There's only 5 of us in today. My email inbox hasn't been blinking with new msgs for the last hour and phone's pretty quiet too. So glad for the much needed silence in the office after the much chaotic past few weeks.

As it has always been with the past year ends, it is time to reflect on the happenings of the year. I think i've pretty much had a good year, with its fair share of bumps and bruises along the way. Career-wise, I believe I'm on the right track though I know I still have quite hurdle in getting the lady-Boss' confidence in my abilities. Imran, believe it or not, sorta opened the door for me straight into her good books! He charmed the tudungs off of her during our company outing last weekend!It was really strange seeing Imran chit-chatting away with her, as if she's Tokmi to him. So till today, she's always talking about how cute and sociable my son is, to our colleagues and work friends :) Yeay Imran!

Life at home has been pretty good too. I can't really complain though I know we can improve on a lot of things. No thanks to my little fender-bender last month, all the savings for the new fridge and washing machine is now rerouted to pay the workshop. Despite that, we did manage to squeeze in an awesome Europe holiday and family vacays with the kids so I guess it's not so bad after all.

Will start bulding up the kitty again next year for our upcoming (mis)adventures. Oh yeah, and a new phone. And digital camera. And a Moroccan holiday :P

The best things in life

2010-12-12T21:37:00.002+08:00

Blogging away from home tonite. Arrived in Kerteh this lovely Sunday morning for a meeting tomorrow..and feeling depressed and homesick as hell becoz of that! No doubt the hotel is nice and the beach is gorgeous. But looking out the window at the kids splashing in the pool made me ache thinking of my children back home. Can't wait to take them away for another "almost beach holiday" this coming weekend!

Anyway, talking about kids, a coupla people i know popped their own babies this past few weeks.. one worth mentioning is my sister, who gave birth to their third last week. The most cute little babygirl ever..besides mine of course. Kinda surreal watching her bathe and change the little bub..her last baby happened like 8yrs ago! She totally forgot how to breastfeed n stuff but good thing is that my mum's around n her baby is quite easy to handle. like most babygirls i know :)

We've been doing a lot of things with the kids lately and i'm so enjoying the time just hanging out with them and talking about anything and everything. Mia is learning really fast and she can recite the numbers 1 through 10 and sing her favourite song "Twinkle2 Little Star" pretty well! I always forget that she's only 1 and a half..But she's still so painfully shy among strangers. She avoids eye-contact with anyone she doesn't know and if she can't hide behind me or anything else, she will just close her eyes!!

Imran's quite a good big brother too..although sometimes he does get a little rough with his babysis. U can talk about anything with Imran nowadays, he's such a good conversationalist! Today I told him that he can't go to Tokmi's house tomorrow coz Tokmi's not feeling well, so he asked me, "Oooohh..that's why I can't go to Tokmi's house.. Tokmi got flu?? oooo..Tokmi dah makan her medicine?It's ok mummy, I will stay home and watch Kuzco with Mia" His tone is full of concern, so endearing.

I'm thankful to have this two little angels around me and I really don't know if I can feel any happier than I am now.

Quarantined!

2010-11-25T09:16:00.005+08:00

My kids and I are under house arrest as we are all infected with HFMD..ugh, as much as I love not having to go to work all week, it's kinda annoying coz there's not much else I can do at home, besides watch TV, go on facebook and goof about with the kids. i'm pretty sure we got it from one of our relatives whose kids had it few weeks ago. daym..never really thought we would end up getting the disease. imran recovered pretty quickly but the little girl had it worse. the ulcers keep popping up under her 'langit-langit' and she had a tough time trying to eat or drink. it hurst even when she's tring to soothe herself to sleep. nothing works. which means me n the dad haven't been getting much sleep as she was fretful and cried most of the night. But yesterday she was lil bit better and today she's almost back to her usual cheeky self. she won't let me check or put bonjela on it so im just guessing that they must have healed. am switching her milk to pediasure again just to get her appetite going again.

The doctor advised to get our bodies loaded up on Vitamin C and lots of water so have been giving the kids bottles n bottles of juices. The spots on our feet are still there but i didn't see any new ones coming up so i hope we're on our way out of this. Hopefully we'll be ok by the weekend. I need to get better too coz i just can't afford to miss Jasmin's wedding reception again!!

Just venting out

2010-11-11T09:51:00.000+08:00

I can’t believe we are approaching yet another December with all the celebrations..time for kindy concerts, school holidays and the rush to clear up work for the financial year followed by clearing of all the remaining annual leaves. Not that my life has been exciting or anything but even with the normalcy of our day-to-day routine , I still feel a little overwhelmed that I have lots to accomplish before I say goodbye to 2010. For instance, the gym subscription which I’ve kept on postponing due to whatever reasons..the neglected garden that’s looking more and more rainforest-like by the day..banking in the kids’ duit Raya..updating our insurance portfolio to include Mia..sending our clothes to the donation center..the list goes on. Note that most if not everythg on the list requires a sum of money to kick-off which is perhaps the main factor these have been pushed to the backburner for now. Despite the pay increase, I’m still finding it tough to keep up with our expenses.. seems like there is always something happening that needs major attention / fixing / replacement. Last month it was the TV, the coming month’s pay will be for a new washing machine and the month after that would have to be the fridge. Hrmphh.. I know I shouldn’t be complaining coz this money problem is a never ending miserable cycle. Even with the yearly pay raises and bonuses, somehow it will almost always be followed with issues that requires huge amounts of money and plops me back to square zero again.

Ok talking about this is making me even more depressed. I know things do have their way to work their own way out and all. it’s just that I wish for once, money can be struck out of my list of problems :P

New chapter

2010-10-16T10:45:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was my first day at Level 55. Fresh out of bootcamp, brain all washed and shiny :P The day went by so fast, with meetings filling up half of it and the rest just with getting the computer and network stuff up and working and getting to know my new colleagues and the office. All in all, it was a good first day. Met with the GM boss-lady and was kinda taken aback with her remarks about working with females. She mentioned that female staff always tend to give her problems and thus do not last long in her dept. Like, wtf? Anyway, i'm just gonna take that in stride and just go with the flow.

My workscope is nothing different that what i've done before, just that this time it's only confined to the O&G business. Something i would need to master as quickly as possible. My boss and SM are cool fellas. The type yg pijak semut pun tak mati. But they are also sharp and very2 intelligent. So I really2 have to learn the business inside out fast to keep up with them.

Thought of going in today to just familiarize myself with the work but was discouraged by the boss-lady as it "gives an impression that you are not managing your time well". i mean, seriously?? when half the time i will be traveling, u can't expect me to be up to date with the paperwork due unless i come in on some saturdays. haiyah..maybe that's why they give me a laptop instead of a desktop. so i can work from anywhere. but ive always thought that the best time to get work done is on a weekend, when the office is quiet and the phones ain't ringing.

Anyway it is saturday today and i will heed her advice and spend quality time owed to my munchkins for going away for 2 weeks. The boss is always right, right?!

My life as a tai-tai

2010-09-28T10:21:00.004+08:00

I'm on a short break before starting at the new job. Was so looking forward to the tai-tai week ahead but now that it's here, wow, tai-tai-ing is not as leisurely as I thought it would be! Am practically up and about by 7:30am making sure Imran's up and showered, screaming at the maid to wake up and prepare the kids' milk and giving Mia her bath before sending off Imran to school. Well Iskandar still drives him there but I make it a point to at least send him to the car, put the seatbelt on and flykiss him off. Then it's back to the laundry, playing with Mia, chasing after the kid until about 10:30am when I tuck her in for her nap. A quick shower, FB and some news updates later and I'm off to fetch Imran from school. Make the boy's lunch and drive to LB for a lunch date myself with Iskandar. After lunch is a dash to Jalan TAR to buy some material, the tailor for J's bridesmaid baju, a bit of grocery shopping before its time to head home n prepare dinner. phew! no leisure whatsoever! But it's all good and i'm loving every second of being around my kids the whole day. Something I would truly miss for about 2 weeks when I hv to go for the P bootcamp on Friday :P

Yesterday managed to squeeze in a quick catch-up over drinks with my girls J, N and H. Oh well, not really quick as we end up leaving the restaurant way past 10pm! But it was fun as always with the girls..Aside from my family, I can't imagine my life without my girls :) xoxo! Here's to growing old together, bitchy as ever! :D

I can't wait for my gaji to come in coz I hv like a million things to do before Friday and there's just no more time! No choice but to get an IOU from Iskandar to start me off with the tailoring and bootcamp stuff. So annoying. They promised it'll be in on Monday but it's already Tuesday and nada!

Ok, gotta go, it's time for Mia's milk and nap..this tai-tai's me-time is o.v.e.r!

The return of Syawal

2010-09-08T16:08:00.000+08:00

Once again, Syawal returns..and this year i am celebrating with many-many more blessings than the years before. Syukur alhamdulillah. I'm so excited to wake up to the smell of my morning coffee and butterfly kisses from my two little angels, to seeking forgiveness from my husband and parents, to the sounds of kids screaming and laughing and coming again and again for rounds of duit raya..to the beautiful spread of Raya goodies prepared by Mummy and all the ladies of the family and catching up with relatives and friends, old and new amidst mouthfuls of ketupat, rendang, spicy gulai tempoyak, lontong and all sorts of cookies and sweets.

This year, I will be preparing simple Soto Johor for Raya brunch with my inlaws before heading to my parents'. Of course, the mandatory ketupat, lemang and rendang will be part of the menu too. standard stuff, but then again my in-laws are not really big in eating so yeah, lucky me :)

This Ramadhan we have been busy doing up the house a little bit..filling up the empty walls with paintings and pictures that we got many many months back but never had the time to properly frame up..replacing the old flower arrangements with new ones and throwing out a bunch of stuff we don't use anymore. Also took time to sort out our wardrobe and donate those that don't fit (me) anymore. One thing good about Ramadhan is that I get to spend more time at home doing all this spring cleaning stuff. Which also means more space in the wardrobe for new stuff! :D

Thank god for all that lunch money saved, we have enough to get each of us two new pairs of baju kurungs and baju melayus..a new pair of shoes and songkok for imran. i can't wait to dress the kids up on Raya morning, they're gonna look super duper cute, in their little baju melayu and baju kurung, i bet!

Tomorrow is the last day of Ramadhan and the city is already deserted :) am looking forward to the smooth drive home and quiet KL at least for another week or so.. which is also a good thing coz i can pack up my stuff at my workplace and move as much things as i possibly can when people are not around..in time for my resignation on Sept 24th.

A blessed Syawal indeed..:)

Another big decision

2010-08-10T22:18:00.002+08:00

Again I am presented with a tough..tough decision to make. Why things have to change just as I am nicely fitting in with the not-so-new "family", I have no idea..perhaps god really has a plan for me. Change is good, and yes opportunities like this will never come around twice but I do not expect this supposedly no brainer type situation would put me in such confusion and sadness. Everyone I confided in says I'm nuts if I don't seize this chance and my family especially thinks this means a better future for me n the kids. I guess there really is no decision to be made then.

But..how do I say goodbye to this other family of mine?? The people who have accepted me so graciously and share their jokes and troubles and home-cooked food with..

Time is running out and I really do need to break the news soon. I just need to figure out how...Gosh i wish I can have a "flash forward" and see what's it gonna be like in my future! Nervous!!

Stuck

2010-07-06T22:46:00.003+08:00

Iskandar's left for Delhi for the week so the kids n i are dumping ourselves at Mummy's house. this was expected to be a great arrangement as i hardly hv time these days for chit-chatting with my mum. BUT..to my annoyance, my mum's house is booked by a production house to shoot some lame-ass Malay drama. AGAIN. for those who know me, would know that my mum's house has been a pretty common scene in so many cerekaramas. Even some videoclips, Chinese, Tamil and Filipino soap operas too. Guess that makes it pretty cool but after the hundredth drama, i'm so over the excitement of seeing celebrities do their thing in front of the camera. and right at this moment, they are shooting a scene in the living room where i think the female actor is suppose to naik hantu and get into a huge screaming fight worse than kimora with her cheating husband or something. she's so effing loud and it's really pissing me off as my kids are trying to sleep up here! Mia was startled so many times and screamed at each take. worse still, i didn't even get to see my mum as we are all trapped in our rooms as long as they are shooting. AND we have to keep the TV down too. SO SO SOOOO annoying.

im still awake coz i'm waiting for Iskandar to get online. haven't heard from him all day and am getting a little worried. sambil2 tu i'm browsing for tips for my Strategic Interview happening on friday. reading others' experiences about it, i'm getting even more freaked out!

am feeling a little hungry but can't get to the fridge downstairs for obvious reasons.. urrrgggghhh..wish i'm back home now!!

Mia is 1!

2010-06-27T22:32:00.002+08:00

And how so very proud i am of her!Her walking's more stable now and she can even walk backwards a few steps! her giggles and laughs are supercute and infectious, just can't get enough of that toothy grin and cheeky smile. She's so precious to me and i hate leaving her every morning to go to work..can't believe she's already a year old.

Last night we got our families together for a small birthday party for the girl. i managed to order all the party stuff online and iskandar put up the baby pink balloons and banner saturday morning. for her cake, i ordered birthday cupcakes from +wondermilk which are just heavenly things and were too pretty to eat! the kids had a great time with the cousins.. we were worried that there would be more adults than kids but we had to keep the crowd small due to the space constraint.. but the kids, though outnumbered, definitely had more fun than i'd seen them last! they were all over the place (and each other!), we had to break up several kiddie fights too! so cute! got mia dressed up in the prettiest dress, fit for the prettiest 1 year old in the world :) she was so well behaved and laughed and giggled her way all through the night.

For my baby Mia Aleena Putri, Mummy's so so proud of you, you are and always will be my little angel.. always know that Mummy is here for you no matter what. there's nothing i could wish more than for you to have the best in life. you and your brother are my breath, my reason to live. love you to bits, little angel..Happy Birthday.

Jalan-jalan post

2010-06-27T11:08:00.005+08:00

I've been carefully planning a 10-day holiday for my family since December and finally it happened at the end of May! Yes i know this post is way over due but it would be a huge loss if i don't write about the whole experience with photos to proof! afterall, i was the one who did all the crazy planning work!! Yup it was crazy, looking for flights, hotels that suit the budget, cheap cabbies, checking the forex every single day.. esp. when ure organizing for a big group! But i must say that the trip was PERFECT..

Our first destination was Dublin where we stayed with my youngest sister. It's a nice city but nothing much to do except exploring the shops and parks. its a very windy city and the nights were chilly!

Barcelona was just magical..can't get enough of the unbelievable, puzzling Gaudi architecture. The Spanish guitarists busking on the streets were just as i imagined it..talented, handsome young men! shopping was awesome with Zara's and Mangos at every corner..prices are dirt cheap and there's an outlet too!! And the tapas bars along La Rambla were perfect to spend the hours just people-watching.Bliss... promised ourselves to return with the kids once the piggy's replenished..hopefully one day.

London was same ol busy, bustling London..which was lovely with the perfect sunny summer weather. It seems like all of London are on holiday too, judging by the huge crowds at Covent Garden, Trafalgar Sq. etc. The beautiful weather is just too nice to miss out on i suppose. Of course, it had to rain non-stop day in day out on one of the days we were there..but that was only for a day and the rest of the time was simply perfect.

Of course we missed the children like crazy while we're away..and of course they didn't miss us at all! :P everytime we called home to talk with them they're always too busy playing, sleeping etc..sigh.

And of course what's a big family vacation without a bit of drama? hehehe.. Iskandar almost missed the whole trip due to dengue! my sister and her many hissy fits, the lost shopping bags, and we almost missed our flight home coz we left one of our luggage at our hotel!!

After so long

2010-05-01T20:52:00.002+08:00

of not updating this blog i really dont know where to start!! a lot has been happening past few weeks, it's been one helluva crazy roller coaster ride that i'm still on! but it's all good, tiring as hell but good. work's been taking me around from bangkok to ipoh to jb to singapore and soon another roadshow will start. most likely the east coast next week. i still haven't unpacked my little trolleybag can u believe it.

Both the kiddies have been up and down with the cough and cold..my poor babies. imran's missed school this whole week, just to make sure he's cleared of the cough completely. just can't think of what parent sends their sick kids to school only to infect the other kiddies!! damn you, irresponsible, sorry excuse of a parent! Mia's even more kesian, the coughing's disturbing her sleep..i do hope she gets better soon. breaks my heart to hear her coughing way into the night..

Oh, Mia's started to take her first steps!!! i just can't believe how fast he's progressing in her motor skills. she started standing about a month ago n if she's distracted with a toy while standing up, she will take little steps without even realizing it. but when she does, i think she sorta freaks out a bit with the movement and sits down again. it's soooo cute to watch..

Tonite is Saturday nite and i'm all alone with the kids..and maids...n Kat :P. Well only iskandar is away. aaaanyways, i'm just gonna have a quiet nite in with my Lovely Bones. i've read halfway and it's such a page turner but i just had to stop at about 3am while i was in bangkok or risk missing my important meeting the next day!

So..hopefully it won't be too long before my next update again..good nite..

New career

2010-03-13T22:55:00.002+08:00

Started my new job after about a week plus of tai-tai-ing and work's been on fifth gear ever since! and here i thought that my first week working at a GLC would be easy-breezy-goyang -kaki :P and for the first time in a long time i don't find myself checking the clock every other half hour as i was always having my hands and head full with paperwork to do, client portfolios to study and meetings to attend. and it's such a great feeling, to be part of a young, energetic team again. it's only my first week and i've already started leaving office at like 7pm - 8pm! it's not good i know, i should learn to manage my work better (and my boss) and try to get home before the kids' bedtime. imran's already showing separation anxiety symptoms when he insists i go to bed with him and says things like "Mummy, no need to go work ok" or "Mummy, sleep with imran ok, jom" with that big eyes and adorable pleading voice.

My teammates are a friendly bunch of jokers. i could see that my boss has done a good job in putting together a great team. they tell me about those crazy times they had to stay overnite at office due to tender submission, constant travelling, etc. but they did give me the impression that it's all good and not a burden at all coz the work is exciting and my boss gives everyone equal opportunity to learn and lead the team for each and every project. i love that they've been genuinely helpful and friendly to me, despite my blurness, being new. i hope to catch up with them soon.

Wishing myself all the best of luck for the next week - it's gonna be another crazy one! Nite-nite!

Soulmates schmoulmates

2010-03-04T19:31:00.003+08:00

A friend recently asked me whether i think Iskandar is my soulmate, and that kinda caught me offguard a bit. Don't get me wrong, I love him to bits but we do have our differences. Like a LOT. for example, he's into TV shows like Lost and rock music and PS3, while i'm more a Channel E person and r&b and i just can't stand Lost. he's a scruffy messy guy and i'm a neat-freak Monica. he's a movie buff while i always fall asleep halfway. Honestly, I don't think we have much in common but we do come together in the important stuff, like the kids, money and stuff. and he has my back whenever i need him, my shoulder to cry on, a listening ear without judging. i don't feel the need to be around him 24 hours a day, we're quite fine being on our own sometimes.

I define soulmates as people who are totally into each other, think alike and have everything in common. i'm trying hard to not sound cynical but i think anyone who wants to get in your pants can be (or pretend to be) your soulmate. the kind of intense attraction, physical and emotional that gets you on a high usually fizzles at the first sign of boy-girl commitment, let alone marriage. But that's where the fun truly is, discovering the quirks and unsavoury habits and learn to be patient and adapt to the reality coz love is much more than that.

So i guess the above kinda answers the question, no, i don't think Iskandar is my soulmate. He is my lover, a reliable husband and father and my best friend, all rolled into one scruffy, bald mess. and i love him to bits for that.

Lazy hazy Wednesday

2010-02-17T09:46:00.004+08:00

Good morning! And what a cool morning it is today, a lovely break after the many days of scorching hot sunny ones. Most of us would still be at home or kampung, extending the long CNY break through the weekend. Like my hubby who i suspect should still be on his PS3, still in his PJs, tak gosok gigi and all at this time. I'm so jealous. But it's ok, I'll have my long break coming next week, yeay!

Anyway, the weekend had been a good one for us. Saturday nite with the girls, a bit of gardening and on Sunday Iskandar took me out for a Valentine's dinner date at my favourite restaurant, Cafe Cafe. I must admit I slacked BIG time this year, I didn't get him anything, not even a card!!! I thought with all the big spendings this past few weeks, it would be sorta understood that Valentine's would be very2 low-key, or nothing at all. And then he came and surprised me with the most beautiful Thomas Sabo charm bracelet...sigh. Felt so bad for not getting him anything! I know he's been looking at Blackberries and I'm looking to get him one for his birthday. So i hope that makes up for my slack.

Yesterday had both sets of grandparents over for dinner. I whipped up a fab (haha) dinner of ayam rempah, red snapper broth, sambal kentang, veggies and a side of sambal belacan and cili padi. Yums! Dah le had Thurkah's banana leaf rice for lunch, mentekedarah lagi that nite :P Really2 need to detox before yet another pig out session at Hood's this weekend!

So here i am this morning, at my desk, trying so hard to concentrate on work but my mind is at home, my tummy is bloated and my eyes can't look at anything else but the gorgeous charm bracelet wrapped around my wrist :) Cepatla 5:30!!

Mia's scare

2010-02-05T17:04:00.004+08:00

Past 3 days had been so terrifying for me as Mia was admitted for high fever and fits. Yes, fits! She developed a high temperature fever on Tuesday afternoon which got worse that night. Iskandar was in Brunei for the big move so the kids and I stayed at Mum's for a few days. At about 7:00am on Wednesday morning, I had just fed her some milk and she was just dozing off when she suddenly jolted and screamed. As I carried her to comfort her, her eyes suddenly rolled upwards and she started to clench her fists in a seizure! In a panic, I ran all over the house looking for my parents with her in my arms, still seizing..it was the most horrifying 30seconds of my life. I had no clue what to do, I just blanked, helpless as I held her tightly hoping she would stop seizing.

After about 30 seconds, she went still, but her eyes were still rolled upwards. Mum appeared out of nowhere and immediately grabbed a wet towel to wrap around her. I heard my parents scolding me for not toweling her through the night but I couldn't really respond coz I was madly terrified about losing her. She looks so weak and helpless. She just stared blankly into space even I was calling her name loudly and pinching her cheeks. She stayed that way until we arrived at the hospital. Then only she would respond by looking at me when I called her name. That was when I felt so so relieved, that she'd came back to me.

I didn't tell Iskandar at first as I know he's going through a lot of stress with the moving, and I didn't want him to feel helpless in the situation. And also coz I was scared to death that he would blame me for not looking after her properly. But I had to tell him when her paed said that she needs to be admitted. He panicked of course, but I'm so glad that he didn't blame me. We both didn't know about these things, never having experienced it with Imran.

Mum followed me to the hospital, she then told me that I used to have fits when I was about Mia's age too. In fact, I was the only one among my siblings to have it. Like me, my mum panicked when I had it the first time, and straightaway put me under a cold shower. Later at the paed's clinic, I found out that the condition is hereditary, and unfortunately I had passed the condition to Mia, the poor thing.

Mia's feeling better today. She has a viral infection which caused the high temp and fits. Today her temp reading is between 36-37 but she's still not yet out of the woods. It'll be at least a week of antibiotics until she can fully recover.

I couldn't believe myself for taking her fever for granted. Thing is, we were due to return on home that Wednesday anyway so I thought I still had time to properly feed her meds and monitor her temp when we go home as all our meds and kits were at home. But of course I was too late, her temp read 39.6 by the time we reached the hospital. She could have reached 40 when we were at home, which probly triggered the fits.

I swear I won't let it happen again. I have all the knowledge (I hope) and medical supplies with me, in case she develops another fever. I pray and hope that I don't ever have to use them at all.

Hopes for the new year

2010-01-04T09:25:00.002+08:00

Aside from the blessings of our new baby girl in June, I would say that 2009 had been quite a year of challenges, marred by losses of loved ones, and changes in the office scene which saw us butting heads with the new management and parting ways with our beloved colleagues.

Come December, I was ready to throw in the towel and was pleasantly surprised when another career opportunity came a-knockin' at the right time! I turned them down last year when they offered, as I was so happy and contented with where I was then, but given the sudden twist of events, also taking that it's been 5 plus years that I've been doing the same stuff, I figured what better time to escape the "madness" and join the other side of the fence. So, after much thought and tete-a-tete sessions with my ex-bosses and colleagues, I've finally put in my resignation on the 31st of December. Couldn't think of any better day to quit then the last day of the year!

Mixed feelings, of course, I can't help but feel a little sentimental bout leaving this second home of mine, esp. those colleagues whom I've grown to know and love after 5 long years. But I guess I have to move on, for my own good and for the company's good, as I've been unhappy here for quite sometime with all this changes and politics of the new management. I'm starting to slack a lot more too, my production was terrible, didn't reach my target for the first time ever, and I didn't give a shit! So I really should move on.

New year means new resolutions, yeah old news but this year Iskandar and I resolve to spend more "grown-up time", just the two of us, without the kiddies. As much as I wish there's more waking hours in a day to be with my babies, we do need to take care of our relationship too. So, Iskandar will be in charge of our social diary (chewah!) while I'll plan our couple's getaways. Let's just hope this won't be another warm-warm-chicken-shit talk :)

A little update

2009-12-24T09:23:00.003+08:00

Mummy arrived from Mekah on Tuesday and I'm so happy that her haj trip went well. She's still having that awful dry cough though, I hope that one goes off soon too. She really missed her cucus and was a little upset that Mia didn't quite recognize her and started to cry when she carried her. But I guess it's just takes a little time for Mia to familiarize herself to Tokmi again. Imran on the other hand, didn't seem to notice the fact that Tokmi's been gone for over a month, macam biasa je dia dengan Tokmi. He adores his Tokmi who in turn spoils him to bits. Of course Mummy had her own haj stories and adventures to tell and we were all just glued to every bit of detail and I was quite secretly admiring her for toughing up and braving the 3million plus crowd of mostly huge and rough Arabs. She hopes to bring Ayah with her next, InsyaAllah.

It is Christmas eve and office is on halfday today. I think it was a mistake for the company sec to announce the halfday coz I heard the CEO giving her an earful for not getting his consent to declare the falfday, albeit being company tradition to close early on Christmas and New Years's eve :D

So this long weekend's gonna be another round of pottytraining for Imran. He's doing well so far, with no accidents after the first two days. We're still taking him to the toilet every half hourly. Hopefully soon we can extend the time to every hourly. No progress yet on No.2 though :P

I plan to introduce more new foods to Mia too. Maybe rice and chicken with a little veggie. My mum said she gave her a taste of Imran's porridge and she seems to love it! That girl's so gonna outgrow her big brother. This is a recent pic of her:

We'll be taking the children to the Bird Park this weekend, with a couple of friends. Pack some snacks and have a little picnic at the park. Imran loves the outdoors and it's quite a shame that he's been couped up at home most of the school holidays. Hope the weather is good though.

I end this post with some photos taken during our little camwhore-ing session around the Christmas decorations at Gardens. Merry Christmas to those celebrating and God bless.

On cloth diapers and potty training

2009-12-15T09:42:00.007+08:00

I've switched Mia's daytime diapers to cloth diapers, bought from one of my closest girlfriends. The brand is Gifts From Heaven and they are truly heaven sent! They are so easy to use, easy to clean and best of all, the fabric is so gentle to her skin, no sign of diaper rash at all. Looks like I can ditch the Drapolene next! Another plus! Here's the girl, rockin' her diapers:

I have to admit that the initial cost is quite high, RM260 for a set of 6, with 12 inserts. But after a few months, I can really appreciate the savings from buying disposables. My only regret is for not starting earlier! And it's also great that the room is now spacious with two less giant disposable diaper packs and the kids' bathroom don't stink of the disposables anymore :P (except when Imran does his business, that is).

Oh yeah, on the boy. We are planning to start the (eek!) toilet training this upcoming long weekend. I've bought a few pairs of kid underwear for starters. If all goes well, I'll take him shopping for some fancy Ben 10 ones later :) I hope he will be pottytrained by the time school starts in January, so it won't be too hard when the teachers take over at school.

Wednesday my in laws will be returning home, and as much as I am GLAD to finally be able to be by myself again, I'm kinda sad thinking of how they will miss the children. I could really see how they have bonded with the two kids and I'm sure they will miss being spoilt by their Tok and Tah too. I'm also worried bout leaving my Dad to be in charge of my charges until Mummy comes back sometime next week. He's not too strong himself and I hope my maid is able to help him sort out de house a bit in time for Mummy's return.

Ok, it's already past 10, I really should start working :). Till later.

Never enough

2009-12-04T14:54:00.002+08:00

Am feeling really lousy despite the coming weekend. In fact, i'm sorta dreading going home later, following the events of last nite and this morning. Iskandar told me this morning bout the argument he had with MIL this morning over a stupid thing - how I failed to prepare a proper dinner for the family last nite. I guess he finally came round over how childish and rude he was over the incomplete dinner and was trying to defend himself and me when MIL remarked that she wouldn't serve such lousy dinner to Papa and her sons.

I accept that perhaps I did blew dinner, but I do believe that she wouldn't say all those things if he didn't make a big fuss of it in front of her in the first place, knowing FOR A FACT how sensitive MIL is when it comes to my shortcomings in caring for her son and grandchildren. I am trying damn hard to come home in time every effing day, through the stupid crazy jams of KL, with a rushed stop at the supermarket to buy things to cook for dinner, and then race home in time to give Mia her last feed, put her down by 7pm and start dinner.

Yesterday was even worse coz I had to drive to Melaka early morning on assignment and was super exhausted after the long drive and longer day on site. Especially hard as I had to tend to Mia when she woke up for a feed at about 3am (Alredi asked a favour from him to handle the night feed since i have to be up really early, but of course he didn't wake up, what was I thinking??). Imagine how insulted and humiliated I felt when he keeps pointing the fact that I blew dinner, right in front of his parents. Now they don't even want to eat at home anymore coz it seems like its too troublesome for me read: I can't cope being a working mum and preparing a complete dinner for the whole family (plus two maids).

I wish he was sensitive to my feelings and respectful enough to not humiliate me like that, but what can I say, things have been said and done. I tried to be thick skinned and just take it calmly last nite but when I found out what MIL thought about it, I just can't hold it in anymore and the tears started to flow. Maybe I'm not a good enough wife and mother, what more daughter in-law. I'm not trying to be perfect, but I'm trying so effing hard to keep everybody happy. Why can't he do the same for me?????

Wish my mum could come back sooner. There's just too many ppl in the house I can't breathe.

Concert time!

2009-11-16T09:01:00.006+08:00

Imran's school concert was held on Saturday and we had so much fun watching him! So surreal to see him in his element, singing and dancing for the first time to whole songs and with dance steps! I have to admit that I was half expecting him to screw the whole thing and just go off to do his own dance routine but surprisingly, he followed the routine with the other kids pretty darn good! He was involved in a minor tug-o-war between two girls at one point, so cute to watch them both trying to kiss and hug him :D For his first real concert, and being only 3 years old at that, I'm so SO proud of how he behaved himself and put on a really awesome show!

Anyway, here are some photos to share :)

Doing the Indian dance

The Ketchup Song

Imran n his girl Amelina singing We Are The World

Well done Imran!!

And Reconnect We Did

2009-11-09T10:39:00.002+08:00

I've been feeling so demotivated at work and frustrated with career plans that didn't exactly go through that by Thursday I was all set for a major meltdown. It started at breakfast which was meant to be my kickoff point towards a great career, but somehow in a way I could not comprehend went the other direction and I found myself back in the dumps. Had lunch with Iskandar that day after the disastrous revelation and instead of feeling comforted, I got shot down yet another time. I knew that I had to do something about this before I lose my mind and that same afternoon, after confronting the person who sort of was responsible for stalling my plan, I managed to gain perspective of things again. Even if things don't really work out for me I've decided to not dwell on it and move on. I shouldn't keep my hopes up about this anymore. I've set my price and I'll stick with it. Take it or leave it. No more false hopes.

I know Iskandar felt bad for not being able to give me the solution I was hoping for but it was never his problem in the first place. It was all me, and I felt so guilty for putting him in such a predicament. We talked it over later but I've already decided that I'm not gonna let this "issue" bring me down, and worse, affect my personal life. With that, the barriers between us were gone, as I reached out to him for his support which he gave with his whole heart.

Spent the whole of Sunday baking brownies, my other love. My favourite part was licking the bowl afterwards with Imran, both of us covered in yummy chocolate ;-) Perfect! Guess the lesson for me is to take each day as it comes and not to put all your eggs in one basket! :D

Need to reconnect

2009-10-29T10:48:00.002+08:00

I have to admit that I have been so caught up with things at home and work that I neglect the most important things and person in my life. It is hard to be a Mummy (albeit being my no.1 most favourite job in the world) and maintain a professional life at the same time, that's a given. These days I've been taking over Mia's night feeds from Iskandar, which is fine by me as I really enjoy the quite times with her. But it's tough to wake up again at 6am, drag myself to work, rush home at 7pm, fetch the kids and prepare Mia for bed (she goes to bed between 7-730pm) that by the time I'm done with the routine, I'll be so dead beat to have a decent meal and conversation with Iskandar. I'll switch straight to "standby mode" on the couch in front of the TV, sometimes I'll remember to go up to bed but there are nights that I wake up in the middle of the night and find myself still on the couch!

Needless to say (but i'm gonna say it anyway), that my marriage is not doing so great right now. Things sorta became bad almost immediately after our anniversary, we hardly talk about things other than "hey, don't forget to change Mia's diapers" or "hey, we're running out of milk for Imran / Mia, can u get some?" or "hey, I'm gonna have dinner first and go to sleep right after" I think at one point we actually stopped talking to eachother totally and I sorta felt OK with that, wtf, coz some of the conversations can easily turn into arguments which I'm too tired to bother to handle. We've also stopped having our lunch dates.

I'm yawning away as I'm typing this, gosh I really need to do something bout my energy level. He texted me earlier, asking whether I'm free to lunch. Of course I am, always, for him. I just hope I can pull myself together and get over all this stupid exhaustion so that he won't think that I've lost interest in our marriage!

The 6 year mark

2009-10-19T16:46:00.006+08:00

We had a rather low-key 6 year wedding anniversary yesterday, low key coz both of us are like dead broke hahaha! Amidst the dead broke situation, we still managed to squeeze out a few ringgits to buy each other his-and-hers perfumes - the new D&G 1 Le Bateleur for him and D&G 3 L'Imperatrice for me. And to our surprise, we got eachother the same cards! now if that's not what you call soulmates, I don't know what is! :)

Truthfully, this year I've got all the things I could only dream of before, for which I am truly, truly grateful to God for giving me this wonderful person as my life partner. Two beautiful children, a perfect home and surrounded by love 24-7, what more can I ask for?

The sacrifices he made for me are something I can never reciprocate, no matter how hard I try.

For our 6th wedding anniversary, there is nothing more that I could possibly want for us other than to stay as strongly committed to eachother, to be eachother's best friend, lover, confidante, partner-in-crime.

I love you Iskandar Putra, thank you for 6 wonderful years, here's to growing old together.

Money money money!

2009-10-15T15:38:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was Mia's 4 month checkup and it's great to hear that her development's a little above average. But her paed was concerned bout the eczema just developing on her elbows, an indication of allergy. Given both our families' history with allergies, he advised us to switch to a hypoallergenic type of infant formula instead of the S26 as it's believed that she may be developing an allergy to milk protein. To start her off, we were given a tin of Mamex Gold Hypoallergenic, and I was shocked to find out later that a small 400g tin costs RM32!! and that's not even half a week's supply!! I then decided to table our budget for baby supplies to see if we can actually AFFORD to switch milks, regardless of what the paed thinks! :P

MIA
Mamex: RM32 x 8 = RM256
Mamy Poko: RM32
Drypers: RM25
Injections: RM300
Toilettries etc: RM20
TOTAL: RM633

IMRAN
Dugro: RM23 x 4 = RM92
Mamy Poko: RM45
Drypers: RM25
Toilettries etc: RM20
School Fees: RM200
TOTAL: RM751

Total both kids: RM1,384!!!

Blardy hell! we've never really compromised when it comes to the kids' necessities but now that i've actually wrote them down, its unbelievable the amount of money we spend on these stuff!! And we've only got 2, i wonder how other parents are coping with 3-4 kids, or more!

So i got iskandar to search for alternative milks to give Mia, (read:cheaper) and found out about soy milk. it's supposed to be good for babies who has milk protein allergies, lactose intolerant and other special needs babies. Price is slightly higher than S26 but definitely cheaper than the Mamex Gold. haven't actually tried it on her yet coz there's still some Mamex supply left for at least 2 days more. i hope she takes the new milk well as right now she doesn't seem to enjoy the Mamex milk much. She's only taken 8oz from 7am to 3pm when she's supposed to be taking 12oz by now.

Both babies are napping right now which means it's time to finally sit down and sort out my income tax problem. the whole point of me taking this long leave is to work my taxes and it's already Day 2 and the tax forms are still untouched! :P

Just another Raya post

2009-09-30T08:49:00.004+08:00

Raya this year was moderately celebrated this year, at least for us. Had a lovely day in with the family, his and mine, just catching up and having a good time amidst the endless supply of lemang, rendang, ketupat and all sorts of kuih "tunjuk" :) Was a little bit upset on Raya morning coz we were too late to celebrate Raya with my parents and siblings, a family tradition for my side of the family. But I guess this is one of the sacrifices you make when you're married and I soon started to enjoy beraya with my in laws when they finally woke up at 3pm!! :) Imran had the best time I think, playing with the cousins. And Mia was just soaking up all the attention and enjoying the non stop cuddles and kisses from cousins, aunties, grandparents etc.

We went back to Alor Gajah later in the week to ziarah the graves of my late Daddy, Nenek, Mak Ngah, Pak Ngah, Atuk and Abang Lokman. Sitting on the tiled perimeters of Daddy's grave, I missed him even more. One day when the kids are big enough, I will tell them the story of their late Tok Daddy.

It's back to work now and the weather's been pretty gloomy these past few days, usual kinda weather expected during the October - December months. Makes it even harder to wake up in the morning and especially hard to leave my two babies at home :(

But today's a new day. In laws are leaving for Brunei and UK and we'll finally get to put some order into our lives and home. No doubt having the inlaws around are great but there are times when I wished it was just the four of us at home :P

I end this post with our family pic, taken on the first day of Raya.

Some updates

2009-09-16T15:51:00.006+08:00

Mia's reaching 3 months pretty soon. It's unbelievable how fast time flies, which really surprises me this time considering it is the fasting month when things are expected to be sllooooowwweerrr than usual. Anyway, this also means that I've almost successfully breastfed Mia for her first 3 months, something that I'm personally quite proud about as it has not been so easy for me. Mia's not really good at direct breastfeeding, she gets easily distracted and pulls away at the earliest sign of milk letdown which is soooo frustrating..all that good stuff wasted away! :( So I've no choice but to pump and feed her with the bottle. Now that I've started work, I have to sneak in a few pumping sessions at where else but in my car! I guess this old building's got a few good things about it such as the extremely private carparks :)

Truthfully, the fasting month has been pretty tough on the milk supply, as I do not have the liberty to drink and eat properly as to observe the fasting period. Not that I'm fasting anyway since I'm breastfeeding, but yea, just to show respect to others who are. I can't wait for Ramadhan to be over, hopefully the supply will return to normal once my mealtimes are more balanced and regulated. I've recently continued taking the Fenugreek pills, but so far I haven't seen any improvement... Too soon to tell maybe. Of course I plan to breastfeed Mia as long as I can, at least longer than Imran which was 4 months before I finally threw in the towel. Fingers crossed!

Raya is coming real soon, like in 3 days time and this year is gonna be pretty much like last year. Except for the new addition to the family! I'm so excited to get her all dressed up in the cute little dress I got from Pumpkin Patch!

In laws are arriving tomorrow and I'm glad that everything's prepared for their stay. Except the computer room which we have temporarily converted to a bedroom for my bro inlaw. Just need to carry the sofabed up two flights of stairs from the basement! No big deal lah, hahaha (pengsan)!

Desperately seeking caffeine

2009-09-07T09:07:00.006+08:00

It's back to the daily grind for me..yup, finally have to brace reality and stuff my feet into those black dusty pumps I've abandoned for quite a while. So far it's been really, REALLY slow for me at the office..seems like things haven't changed much since I went on my long leave.

A chance telephone conversation with a client may give me the absolute ultimate opportunity to get out of this soon-to-go-belly-up company. I'm crossing my fingers and praying hard that everything falls through and they are willing to accept me with my credentials. Haven't heard from them for almost a week now and I'm getting really2 nervous. I know that my chance are not that strong as he told me that the company usually tries to fill in the position internally but he'll put in a few good words for me. Aghh...the agony of waiting.

It's gonna be a sad week for me too. My boss is leaving in 2 days' time and I don't know how I'm gonna cope without him. He is by far the best boss I've ever had and I feel that there's still a lot I need to learn from him. We made a great team and it's really sad that he had to leave in the present circumstances, and when I need him most. But I wish him well, and hope that life treats him better on the other side of the fence. I did tell him to keep a lookout for me too if anything good comes up. Can't keep all your eggs in one basket, they say :P

I am meeting the MD of the prospect new company later this morning for another chat. I have to be honest and tell him about the other possible opportunity and that I need more time to contemplate. I just hope that it doesn't put me in a bad light as we have been in talks for almost a month plus now and I still haven't given my decision.

The end is near..

2009-08-21T19:03:00.002+08:00

It's the last few days of my maternity leave and i'm so dreading to go back to work on Monday. Furthermore, fasting month starts tomorrow which i'm guessing will make it even worse as i won't be able to have my usual morning coffee..sigh. what a way to start work after the long break. But mostly, i'm so not ready to leave my two precious babies yet! Since i've started Mia on a regular routine, things have been so much better for my housemates. Mia's been a good night sleeper, which means we've been getting the much needed rest at nite too, yeay! thing is, now she's more wakeful during the daytime with several catnaps between 8am till about 5pm when she gets really tired and ready for bedtime, which is not until 7pm! so it's quite a challenge to keep her awake AFTER 5pm, to give her a bath and last feed before 7pm. hmmm.. i reckon this will be quite a challenge for my Mum who'll be in charge of my charges when i go back to work on Monday. kesian her, dahle our new maid's like not quite learning the ropes as fast as we wish she would. Never mind Imran, she can't even manage the house work well yet. but i persevere, in the hope that one day Imran will accept her and allow her to do basic things like change and feed him. Otherwise, i can't bear to torture my Mum like that and will consider taking another sabbatical or perhaps resign.

Yup, i think i've sort of made my mind up about resigning. thing is, i'm not really sure where i wanna go or what i wanna do yet. Half of me wants to take up the challenge at the new company but the other half yearns to spend more time with my kids at home and bring them both up properly. Every working mum's dilemma i guess. i can't wait till Iskandar's promoted next year hopefully. If the salary increase is sufficient, i really don't mind cutting back on my expenses, downgrading the car, even letting go of the maid, just so I can be a full time Mom. With Mia so young and vulnerable, and Imran so active and curious, it would be a shame to miss all the wonderful discoveries they make and milestones they achieve. Those things money can't buy.

That's it for now. Mia's sound asleep, didn't finish her 7pm feed, as expected, she passed out halfway again. It's Mummy-Imran time now, i.e. dinner with Tigger & Pooh, Animal Mechanicals or whatever else is on Playhouse Disney!

Mia Aleena Putri - born 22nd June 2009

2009-08-19T16:24:00.003+08:00

Here's a few snapshots of my precious princess..

Coping

2009-08-03T14:34:00.003+08:00

It's been a month plus since the birth and I'm getting used to functioning with 3hrs of sleep (or less). Mia's sleep pattern is still reversed, i.e. she sleeps all day and stays up all nite. My efforts to keep her awake during the day time so that she sleeps at nite has so far been futile. Last weekend had friends over to visit, sisters actually. One of them also has a 3 yr old and an 8 month old. Listening to her story on how she got thru the sleepless nites which seemed endless and frustrations of trying to maintain her sanity between caring for her toddler son and baby girl at the same time sort of made me feel a bit better. She recommends a book on training babies to sleep through the nite, something i would definitely try on Mia once she's ready for it. It worked on both her children, but the thing is she said I need to prepare myself, i.e. be strong for the crying nites for at least a week before the baby learns to sleep through the nite. For now I can say that I'm truly prepared for anything just to get a good nite's sleep!

It's a little less than 3 weeks till i go back to work, something i look forward as well as loathe at the same time. My boss has recommended me to the MD of this company who is looking for an Engineering Unit Head. We had a meeting to discuss the job, salary and stuff and so far he's quite agreeable to my terms. Now the ball's in my court. I'm just not sure if I'm ready to take on such a huge responsibility. Being in the industry for just 5 years, I think there's still a lot more i need to learn and people I need to impress. But my boss told me that he's confident that I can do this, and I know for a fact that he doesn't trust or give his recommendations so easily and for that I'm quite proud of myself and honored too. We've scheduled a lunch together, my boss, the MD and myself. I hope I can give them the answer they and I are looking for.

Mia's still having her nap and Imran is with my Mom, perfect time for me sneak in a quick nap too before the little lady wakes up for her feed. Till then, ....zzzZZZzzzzz..

Announcing the new arrival!

2009-07-09T10:43:00.003+08:00

Hello blog!It's been bout a month since my last post, ey. and what a month it has been! on june 22nd, at 8:33pm, our babygirl, Mia Aleena Putri was born..a healthy, bouncy 3.41kg tot! she was kept at de hospital for a week tho due to high jaundice but now i can safely say she's out of the woods. Mia's been such a joy to look after. She doesn't cry much, unless she's hungry or crapped herself. She sleeps and feeds well, waking up every 3hrs or so for her meals. Unlike Imran who was quite difficult to settle after feeds. They tell me that babygirls are easier to handle compared to boys and so far it's been quite true when I compare Imran with Mia.

As for me, I'm feeling a lot better after the birth. The wounds healed up pretty fast this time, I think, thanks to my guardian angel, Dr.Alex's ample supply of painkillers! :) As per last time, I'm not into all these pantangs, just obvious things such as avoiding spicy foods as I'm breastfeeding Mia. My goal this time is to breastfeed her until she's at least 6 months old so wish me luck! I have about 5kgs of post baby weight to lose and I'm not really sure if I can get back in shape by de time my leave is over! Mum's been cooking all these yummy foods that it's a challenge to not have an extra serving! Oh another news is that my trusty maid will be leaving us for good today. So I'm guessing that'll help with my losing weight as Mum will surely has her hands full with housework and won't have time to cook, at least for a month until we get our new Cambodian maid...hmm.

All in all, I'm having a pretty good time at home this time round. With all the rubbish happening at work, it's great timing too to be off on a good long break, hopefully the dust had settled by the time I go back to work.

I'll post pictures of Mia up very soon. For now, time to catch a quick snooze before her next feed!

Last checkup!

2009-06-17T19:05:00.004+08:00

At my 38wk checkup, I was given the option to induce the labour which I hurriedly accepted with a huge, silly grin! Just the thing I need as these later stages of pregnancy is becoming a real test of patience for me. The rash I had during my first trimester is back. Ooh how it itches.. esp. at nite. And don't even let me get started on the backpain...unbearable! I've been keeping Iskandar up late massaging my back as it's the only way to soothe me to sleep. Some nites I have to sleep sitting up straight which is just "tidur2 ayam" as I keep jolting up soon as I doze off.

So the date's been set, on 22nd June I'll have the labour induction, at about 7am, if all goes well, Dr Alex will break the water bag round 9am and I can have the epidural after that. Then all I hv to do is sit back and wait as labour progresses. Hopefully everythg goes well and I won't be in labour for too long. Must remember to bring some chick lits or trashy mags to keep me company :)

Iskandar told me to think about what I wanna do, things to eat, places to go during my last weekend b4 the big event. So many things to do, so little time! I think I'm just gonna spend all the time with Imran as I think this could be the last few days I can give him my undivided attention. At least for another 6 months or a year. I hope he understands, sigh..

Thirty today

2009-06-10T09:45:00.005+08:00

As it is my big 3-0 day today, it's only apt to post something bout it, right? ;-P Woke up and found a bouquet of roses greeting me, the perfect pick-me-up after last nite's long and tiring day! With it is a birthday card from Iskandar and Imran (complete with Imran's drawings of KLCC and KL Tower!). Kisses from the boys and went downstairs to find another surprise, birthday gift from MIL and PIL! Alamak, so embarassing lah, must be Iskandar yg kepoh2 to them bout me turning 30 today :P

Some of the boys at work somehow found out it's my bday today n started to kepoh oso, which was kinda nice considering how little fun we've had at the office eversince the "announcement".

I'm not sure what Iskandar's planning for the rest of the day as he said the flowers are just Part 1 of the day...hmmm..

Anyway, as for me, there's nothing I want more on my birthday than to share it with my two best men..and the little lady in me too, care to join me babygirl? :)

edited - 12/6/2009

Part II of my birthday surprise came in the form of, a super cute, lilac Anya Hindmarch tote! Love it to bits!! oh, and love u too babe!

Oh come out already

2009-06-04T15:54:00.005+08:00

I think i've passed the anxiety of giving birth and now just hoping that labour would start sooner than later! The backpains and sciatica are getting just too unbearable. With me still working full time just makes it worse I guess. It's like clockwork, the pain starts to creep from 9pm and gets worse by the minute. Can't even manage a step without cringing or howling in pain. Bedtimes are the worst now. Lying down flat or on any side is painful so some nights I end up falling asleep while sitting up straight. They say that once the backpain stops, labour would soon start but judging from how I'm feeling these days I don't think its happening anytime soon :(

Papa's surgery went well, according to Iskandar. They are still in Korea for the post op recovery and should be home on Saturday as scheduled. Hopefully the surgery's cured the numbness of his hand. We are all optimistic that one day he'll be free of the pain altogether.

Last nite Iskandar took us out to KLCC to cheer me up. And cheered up I did, as I discovered that my fave shop, Accesorize has finally made it to KL! I almost died of happiness upon stepping into the shop :D Scored a lovely satin cream purse to wear for Jaja's engagement on Saturday...and a few more gorgeous stuff hehe.

Dinner was at California Pizza Kitchen, my favourite restaurant. yums.

The minute we arrived home, the dreaded backpain started! Argh! but I didn't suffer too long as I fell asleep soonafter brushing my teeth and making Imran's last bottle of milk. Thanks to the soothing backrub from Iskandar!

The dilemma

2009-05-27T12:29:00.003+08:00

Our office has recently been taken over by another VC, who coincidentally owns one of our competitors. Needless to say, it has upped our profile as the No.1 agency in Malaysia, possibly the world too. The competitor company, in Malaysia at least, is, unfortunately well known for its cut-throat policies, resulting in much dispopularity within the industry, peers and clients alike. Our company, on the other hand, did tremendously well in previous years, quite popular in the industry and one of the bigger players in town. Safe to say that the new owners are lucky that they are acquiring a profitable company, not a losing one.

Which is to our huge disappointment that the owner has appointed the CEO of the loser company to head the new, merged companies. Only reason for this, I hear is because our own CEO had passed away earlier this year and there is no one else befitting our CEO's chair since. With this new incoming, big changes are being implemented, particularly upsetting us is in the amendments of employee benefits and new bonus (bogus) scheme.

Together, a group of us shortchanged staff are putting together a memo to the new management, protesting the changes. It is hard not to get emotional as this is our livelihood that's on the line. We have all been working our assess off for the company, generating decent bonuses in the course and enjoying the wonderful working environment that's been the envy of our competitors. With the new cutbacks on benefits and impossible bonus scheme, all we have left is our monthly salary, which is peanuts, to get through the day to day. Previously, we are ok with the low salary coz we know that we would be rewarded with good bonuses provided we reach the fee target set by the company. And a handsome extra if we exceed the targets. That is why I love this company and stayed for the past 5 yrs, regardless of the low salary. I work hard every year for that big fat bonus cheque.

I have to approach this issue carefully as I'll be going off on maternity leave soon and I don't want this to have any repercussions upon my return. But on the other hand, I have to support my colleagues in this fight without appearing too unreasonable and rebellious. What a pickle!

Imran at school

2009-05-21T09:26:00.003+08:00

We've been sending Imran to his play school for almost a week now and boy, don't he just love it! Of course during the first day he was clingy towards me and shy to mix around with the other kids. He didn't even touch the Koko Krunch snack the school served, his favourite! But by the second day, I could see that he's started to join in the group circle, singing songs, playing at the playground and doing arts and craft with the teacher. I'm so glad that the kids all seem to adore him too, always inviting him to join the playgroup and helping him with his snack bowl and drink. The kids are the sweetest things, I tell ya! I have half a mind of quitting my current job and joining the school to be with the kids...hmm.. maybe someday..

The trial period ends tomorrow after which we'll be enrolling him into the school's Montessori program proper. I hope the new school uniforms will encourage him to go even more. As it is, the kids are always asking me; Aunty, where's Imran's uniform? Need to get a small schoolbag for Imran's things, water bottles and more socks too!

I'm so happy to see Imran enjoying his time at school. He's making friends easily and I truly believe I made the right choice with this school. But I can't help feeling a wee bit emotional too, seeing how fast he's growing!

Playschool

2009-05-06T10:47:00.005+08:00

Went to the doctor's for my monthly checkup Mon afternoon. According to the doc's calculated EDD, i'm at 31 wks but the measurements of the baby showed that i'm at 33wks! yikes! does this mean that the baby's coming early, again? Unfortunately, said Dr.Alex, they still don't have the knowledge or technology to accurately determine, unless actual labour starts. And I felt even more n more nervous after that.

My checkups are now twice monthly as I've entered the final stages of pregnancy. This week i'll be retrieving back all my stuff loaned to friends and family when they had their babies - car seat, BF cushion, donut cushion, mobile etc. I hope they took care of the stuff :P contemplating of taking back the oh-so precious baby swaddle i loaned to hubby's cousin..should i? i know i can afford buying a new one, but the one i found to keep for our "future offspring" but ended up loaning to her for some stupid reason was SO special, not mentioning quite pricey too!

This afternoon we went to checkout another playschool for Imran, one closer to my Mum's. It was a very pleasant and kinda exclusive school, with only 2 kids of Imran's agegroup and about 10 other bigger kids. Listening to the Principal explain the activities, her experiences with newbies (kids and parents) gave us quite the assurance we needed. Told her bout Imran's habits and temperaments and how we deal with it which she was happy to oblige. She also expressed her relief that we have been instilling discipline in him at this age as some parents had even instruct her not to make their kids follow the school's routine program if they don't want to which makes it quite tricky for the teachers. Being experienced in Montessori early learning for 16 years, my gut feel says that she's the right person to handle our Imran. Thinking of sending him on a trial basis for a week first before we decide to sign him up for a whole year. I love that the school allows this trial basis as other schools never gave us this option. Another plus is that they will toilet train him too when he's settled and ready, yay! :)

Now comes the hard part, that is to tell my Mum that she needs to part with her favourite cucu for 3 hours a day.. :P

Almost at the finish line..

2009-05-04T08:30:00.004+08:00

..and I can't wait!The extra weight on me is making it even more and more difficult to move around. Sleeps at nights are also tough, I feel short of breath and the backpain is a real bitch.
We had a 3-day weekend which was just what I needed, except for the fact that Imran was down with fever and flu for 2 out of the 3 days! But I had a lovely time taking care of him, sick and all. Just sitting there cuddling and soothing him while he sniffles and whines away was therapeutic for me as much as it was for him, I hope. In times like this, I know he needs as much TLC as he does meds, which was what I provided whole-heartedly. The boy got better on Sunday and was back to his usual naughty and mischievous self! I sorta secretly hope the fever extended through Sunday as I was enjoying the quiet and pensive Imran too much! :P

We completed doing up the kids' bedroom yesterday. Hubby layered the second coat of paint all by himself this time and did a pretty good job! Finished off the day by pasting the glow-in-the-dark stars to the ceiling. It turned out real nice and Imran loved it too. I placed an order for an all-white wardrobe and aircon for the room which shud arrive these few days. After that, we shud be done with all the big spending. Until the big day arrives, that is.

Last nite before bed I managed to catch the documentary, "In The Womb" on NatGeo. What a wonderful "inside story" on what goes on in there. It also says that the baby gets more sensitive to the mother's voices after 32 weeks and can sense the difference in tones when she's stressed out, happy, angry etc. So I'll try my best to maintain a happy self from now on :P ...how can I not be? My Coach bag booking came through and will arrive next week! Happy!

An untitled post

2009-04-30T08:34:00.003+08:00

Bonus came in yesterday and already I've spent almost half of it on loan repayments, bills and such. Put aside some money in Imran's savings too, something I haven't been doing in a long, long time. Still have quite a bit more spending to be done this weekend - new aircond for the kids' room, a new stroller, wardrobe for kids and last but not least, to pay the deposit for labour and delivery at Gleneagles. Once all that's done (and with a few hundred RMs to spare hopefully), only am I gonna spend on myself. I'm thinking a luxurious a hair treatment and touch-up of my rebonded hair :) Hubby needs new lenses for his glasses so I'm gonna treat him to that too. A new handbag? Crossing my fingers on that one! I've put a booking on a Coach Legacy stripey tote that I've been eyeing since '06 but never had enough $$$$ for it. If the bag is available and the price is right, perhaps I can sacrifice my hair treatment for it!

Had a bit of an argument with Hubby yesterday on some small money matters. He didn't speak to me at all last night and I know he's still angry with me this morning. For the first time this morning I didn't give him a kiss before going to work. I'm still scared.. and what if he just brushes me off? I'll just die. I guess I'll just have to wait for him to come around and get over it. It's not that big a deal to me, really but he's treating me as though I've cheated on him which I have not and will not, ever.

Can't wait for the day to be over. I have no mood to work and just feel like rolling around the bed with my Imran.

30 weeks

2009-04-20T12:21:00.003+08:00

Last night had a lovely time with Iskandar and Imran, strolling around Pavillion. I hv been scouting for a new handbag to replace my old tattered one for the past week and finally found a cute and decently priced bag at Eclipse. I was actually eyeing the one at Nine West but Iskandar protested as it looked almost exactly like my old one, hahaha, typical boring me.

Anyways, had dinner followed by J-Co donuts at Imran's insistence. Back home, I started to feel like I was gonna explode! And I didnt even eat that much, didn't finish dinner and only ate about 1 and half donuts. My lower back suffered the most, aching all night long and throughout today. Told Iskandar that I think we hv to complete preparing for new baby by end of de month as at 30 weeks, its almost suicidal to walk here and there with a backache like this. We still have to look for a wardrobe for the room which I hope we can settle by next week. Also for typical baby toilettries, diapers and such, which shouldn't be a big problem with Giant being just a minute away. Still, no excuse to do evrything last minute so I'm gonna get that done too.

Was looking at my reflection this morning before going to work and was surprised at how big I am now. Gosh, I really feel this baby is gonna come sooner than the EDD coz I don't think I can expand anymore or risk exploding! Feel quite scared too coz I'm so not ready with tonnes of things yet to be settled. Funny that my colleagues think I'm quite 'small' considering being at 30weeks. Yea saying it is one thing, actually experiencing it is totally another! So far I don't see any stretch marks appearing yet and I hope my skin will maintain this way.

Iskandar's skipping his company trip that's happening from Thursday to spend time with us instead. What a sweet gesture. I know he derserves some time out too, seeing how hard he works his ass for LB. But I'm kinda thankful he's not going, haven't seen much of him this past few weeks, and weekends are always a mad rush between shopping, errands, family dinners and Imrans.

So for the first time in a loooOOOOooong time, we are going out on a dinner date this Friday, some place fancy around this Changkat area, just the two of us. He will be spending the whole day with Imran and night with Mummy so Imran really shouldn't complain! :)

Here's to the weekend! (come already!)

Wet Wednesday

2009-04-15T08:51:00.003+08:00

What a gloomy day today is, wish I was home curled up under the covers with Imran..I feel so tired and groggy waking up this morning and I blame it all on the foul tasting mee hailam I had at the Bangi Kopitiam, newly opened at Melawati. I sorta blame myself a bit too, I've been warned many times not to eat ANYTHING on the menu as they are all basically horrible tasting crap. But I was optimistic, and also damn hungry as I haven't had my dinner yet. Wasted a whole hour feeding Imran, had no time to eat a proper dinner as I was running late to meet up with my family at the cursed kopitiam.

Anyway, later that night after midnight I started to have this bad tummy cramps. Took me about 4-5 times to clear my system a.k.a. kareb it all out! It was horrible. I think the baby felt the "effects" too. She wouldn't stop kicking and poking and jumping the whole night! I couldn't sleep a wink. Dozed off a bit but awoken again by the thunderstorms and Imran climbing me for a cuddle. When my alarm actually went off at 6:40am, I felt like crying!

I don't think I can function properly like this. Made a strong cuppa coffee but am still as drowsy as ever. Am waiting for boss to go out before I quietly escape the office to catch some zzZZZzzzss. Oh yes, first I'm gonna send a nasty email to the owners of the Bangi Kopitiam for unleashing their terrible foods on me!

Almost there

2009-04-13T08:58:00.002+08:00

With limited weekends to go by, each minute of Saturday and Sunday is so precious to us and needs to be planned carefully, with no compromising when it comes to our little boy. And what a productive weekend it had been! Successfully painted the kids' room and put up the shelves, just Iskandar and me, on all fours! I had terrible leg cramps and backache and Iskandar had blisters all over his palms after that but it was all worth it. The kids' room look a little more lively now and I'm so proud of ourselves :) I hope the kids will love it as much as I do. I'm thinking of sticking those glow in the dark stars on the ceiling to give it a sorta sleeping-under-the-stars feel hehe.

Next on the list it to look for a good wardrobe for the room and also for our computer room aka our second dressing room :P

I've also managed to sort out all Imran's baby clothes and separated the "unisex" ones to recycle! Thank god we bought a lot of good quality clothes for Imran which lasted longer compared to the cheaper Anakku stuff. I also bought a few pairs of pyjamas, tights, newborn rompers, mittens and booties just to complete her wardrobe.

My younger sis is coming home from Dublin today and this will be her first time meeting Imran. I hope Imran behaves himself and doesn't buat perangai so much. Last night we took him to GE Mall and ended up paying RM20 for nothing - he broke a toy car. It's actually the first time he broke anything from a shop but this really worries me. I know I should bring the maid with us to watch him but it's just too risky now without a permit. Can't wait to get this shit sorted out.

Ok, now back to work!

Taking out the trash

2009-04-06T08:38:00.003+08:00

Looking at the baby counter today, I can't help but freak out a little. Ok, a lot. Time is flying so fast and I still have a lot to do before I can actually go have my baby delivered :P It's 7 months now and I have this paranoia that this one's gonna come early too. Made a quick dash to Ampang Point and stocked up on baby bottles, towels and wraps at the Mum's Care last day sale on Sunday. Wanted to buy the baby cot bumper set but ran out of cash. Only then I felt slightly at ease. But today the feeling of unreadiness has returned and my mind is now jumbled up with all these - baby stuff that I should / should not / maybe I should/ oh but it's too expensive / girly things vs. recycle? / they r on sale! / necessities first - crazy thoughts.

Early Sunday morning, we met up with few other disgruntled customers of the maid agent and decide to have a little "intervention". Apparently the agent's been telling us all sorts of stories and making excuses to delay our dues. For me and 2 others, it's our maid's work permit and for another girl, it's de little problem about her maid's passport being EXPIRED for 3 months. It got a little heaty at the agent's house as she was trying to explain herself but all we wanted was our money back and burn all bridges with her. Had enough of her excuses and from what we heard from her other customers, she's been quite crafty in convincing her customers to part with their RM5,600 only to get miserable services from her. My only consolation was that the maid we got was good with my son and hard working, unlike the other girls who were stuck with terrible ones. After a few hours of bombarding her, she finally relented to return RM2,700 to the 3 girls, but for me, I decided to meet up with her runner direct and deal with him straight. I've cut all ties with the agent and made sure she paid all the money to the runner. It's damn frustrating when you trust a fellow Malay with your hard earned money and only got lousy service and lies. Sorry to say but this is the last time I'll be helping my fellow Malay for sure. I've learnt my lesson the hard way.

Come to think of it, we've had quite a bit of bad service this year. From Telekom, maid agent, Samy the alarm system guy and Maxis damn bloody cheats. We've "sorted out" Telekom and the maid agent already, next to suffer our wrath is Samy and Maxis! Bewarned u blood sucking scums!

Things I don't want to forget

2009-04-01T08:41:00.006+08:00

Yesterday as I was enjoying my Spicy Italian sub in the car, the song Viva La Vida came up on the radio. My heart straight away went home to my son, knowing how MUCH he LOVES the song. Hey, he loved it even before it was announced the Grammy Song of the Year so you gotta admit he has good taste :) My thoughts flew next to all the quirky and funny things about Imran and I decided to list them all down before I forget them totally.

1. The way he pronounces "butterfly" as "apertee"
2. The way he pronounces "computer" as "tompeeteeter"
3. The funny face he makes and growls when I scold him
4. His original rendition of the Birthday Song - "Aaabirday to yoouuuu...Aaabirday to yoooouuu...Aaabirday to Iiimaaan / Tokmiii...Aaaabirday to yoouuu...!"
5. The way he pronounces his name - Iman
6. His hugs which come everytime it's requested
7. When he asks me "Mummy, where going??" when I step out of the door.
8. That smile
9. His obsession with Coldplay's Viva La Vida, refers to it as Iman Chong (Song) or Iman Chong Mummy Car as the CD is permanently fixed in my car radio.
10. How he gets overly excited when he spots KLCC (Otiti) or KL Tower (Aaa-tower)

These are the things I can recall on top of my head as I'm typing this. Being in the terrible 2's, of course there are also those temper tantrum episodes now and then. But let's not make a list about that one :P

I swear there's more that I've forgotten, I'll add to them when I remember. How I wish that he won't grow up so fast. He'll always be my little tee~bum :)

In love with Cafe Cafe

2009-03-30T09:08:00.003+08:00

I found this restaurant on the web, while browsing for places to bring Iskandar for his belated birthday dinner. His birthday's actually last week but since he was busy all day for the music fest we decided to postpone our little celebration to this week. Anyways, the online reviews were pretty good but none of my friends hv actually been there to give me their true accounts of it. What worried me most was the location, within the dodgy dingies of Jln Maharajalela. When we found a parking spot near de restaurant I was so nervous as there was this little creepy Chinese guy tapping on my window. He looked drunk and dazed. Iskandar quickly shoved some money into his hands and he disappeared just like that. I started to have this queasy feeling in my tummy telling me that this is a really bad idea.

But all that ended soon as we stepped into Cafe Cafe. Oh my gosh!!! The candle light and sparkling crystals hanging on the ceiling just took my breath away! Inside, diners were quietly enjoying each others' company in the romantic ambience, with slow French jazz music taking them through the meal. We were seated by the window which was draped in black velvet curtains. The floors were tiled in black and white - tres chic. It really felt like we were in 1920's Paris.

Needless to say, everything was perfect about the restaurant, service was superb, ambience SO romantic, the diners were unpretentious..best of all, food was excellent and not too painful on the wallet :) I finished off with the tiramisu which was just perfect, except de fact that I was too full from the lambshank main course to actually finish it! Even Imran behaved surprisingly well throughout dinner, thank God :)

I didn't take any pictures as the restaurant has a strict policy on cameras which is a good thing to maintain its' air of mystery. But I did feel slightly annoyed with a group of diners who were snapping photos now and then, which brought me back from 1920s Paris to 2009 Malaysia again, sigh..

All in all, it was the perfect night out, just me and my two best men. Je t'aime Cafe Cafe!

Sombre year so far

2009-03-26T17:07:00.004+08:00

As far as my family (and esp. Mak Ngah's) is concerned, it has been a quite a sad 2009 for us thus far, losing three of our beloved family members within a month apart of each other. It is particularly tragic that Mak Ngah's eldest daughter, who passed away on Feb 14, happened to be a single parent, with 5 growing kids. Now they are left in the care of the eldest son, who had no choice but to grow up overnight, take over the household and be mama and papa to his brother and sisters. I pray that God gives him the strength to go through this tough time.

Mak Ngah's youngest son passed on mid January, in a car accident. He had been traveling to and fro KL-Segamat to take care of my cousin's hubby who's been in and out of coma for the past 5 months. His contributions and sacrifices to the family is hugely appreciated, it is our biggest regret not to get the chance to tell him so. His eldest son scored 10A1s in the recent SPM exams, Abg Lokman must be proud, looking down on him from heaven.

Latest to go was my cousin's beloved hubby, Abang Hashim. What's so frustrating was that the doctors still couldn't figure out what was wrong with him, until now, and told us to pray for a miracle that one day he will wake up and recover. But looking at his condition when we visited him few weeks ago, I somehow expected that he'd never pull out of this one. Arwah was such a cheerful, youthful looking guy that sometimes I feel that Kak Teh is so lucky to marry such a lovely man. The person I saw lying on the hospital looked already half-gone, chest sunken, hair all white, only skin and bones. Not the jovial Abang Hashim I always knew. I can never imagine anyone would have such horrible feelings towards him, up to the extent as to put him through so much physical pain like this. At least that was the only thing that makes sense to us all, given the discovery of "voodoo"-like things around the compound of the house. Yes, we have resorted to numerous bomohs and ustads to help cure him but none actually could. I know those responsible (if it's true) would receive their dues from Allah one day and all we can do is redha for all that has happened.

All I can say is, I hope with the passing of Arwah Abg Hashim there would be no more tragedies in our families. I don't know if my mum can take losing another family member like this anymore. It has clearly taken a toll on her, esp as she had sorta taken responsibility to care for Mak Ngah's children after her passing last year.

Mummy's birthday is coming this weekend, we haven't planned anything yet coz she insisted that we wait for my younger sis to come home from Dublin. But I'm thinking of a surprise little family celebration for her on that day itself, especially after all the tough days she had to go through.

Till then.

Spanish dreams

2009-03-17T10:57:00.004+08:00

Last weekend was a bit low key for us. Iskandar was feeling under the weather so we spent the rainy days watching DVDs. Watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona on Sunday which I thoroughly enjoyed! Not so much the storyline, typical lame Woody Allen stuff to me, but I just adored how they filmed Barcelona's beautiful architecture, art, scenery and the Spanish guitar nights. Breathtaking. The scenes at Oviedo were equally charming. I find myself daydreaming of visiting Barcelona someday and of the romantic balmy nights listening to Spanish guitar at one of the many garden gazebos, glass of sangria in hand :). Lovely.

Back to reality, I find myself panicking at work, realizing the tons of work I need to finish before I go off on my maternity leave. yikeS! I don't want to repeat my previous mistakes of not finishing up in time and ending up briefing my boss over the phone, from the hospital bed, on the status of each and every file on my long WIP list :P Very troublesome, and I hated the inconvenience it must have brought my boss and colleagues due to that. But then again, last time wasn't entirely my fault as the baby decided to come a month early!

I'm entering 7 months soon and with each passing moment I'm so excited to meet this new person growing inside me. The kicks and punches are getting more and more stronger and frequent, you can actually see it if you sit/stand close enough. I haven't bought much stuff for the baby. Thank god I saved most of Imran's old rompers, pyjamas and blankets. They were still in pretty good as new condition, just need a good washover.

Ok, I better get back to work, till later!

Sawadeekap!

2009-03-11T09:23:00.005+08:00

Just got back from our shopping trip to Bangkok. It was fun as expected, especially as I get to spend a good full 4 days with Iskandar, just de two of us, exploring the sights and sounds of Bangkok. Its been a while since we had that luxury, but all the time I know we both were missing Imran terribly :P

We stayed at a cute little boutique hotel in the outskirts of Sukhumvit, near On Nut station, Imm Hotel. Scored a great deal with the stay-for-3-nites-pay-for-2 package. They even threw in a free Thai massage and BTS day pass. Awesome deal. Anyone heading to Bangkok on a budget, please checkout this hotel www.immhotel.com/fusion-home.html

hotel entrance

The hotel looks like one of those old Chinese heritage homes u see in Melaka, with a modern touch. I especially love the pool and lounge area. Super cozy and unpretentious. The resident turtles are very friendly too, always poking their heads out of the water when we pass by.

me with the resident turtle

the pool

Went to Chatuchak market on Saturday AND Sunday for our shopping binge. It was madness, stuffy, claustrophobic, and the smell of pork meat was just dreadful. At the same time, it was exhilirating to be among thousands of shoppers, bargaining away for things that are already priced dirt cheap! Bought lotsa stuff for the home, Thai silk sheets, big wooden pots and paintings and other bric-a-bracs. Of course I so can't resist the cutesy dresses and flip-flops! Bought extra for friends who I think would be interested but now I'm having second thoughts to keep it for myself!

coffee break at Phatpong

And the FOOD..ohh..I'm so missing the mango and sticky rice dessert. Had it practically every day after EVERY meal! They are that good.

one of the many i had

As I was on the BTS from MBK making my way back to our hotel (Iskandar wanted to shop some more after Chatuchak but I needed to get home coz I was so sweaty and tired), I thought to myself that this is a city I can actually live in, not just for the shopping, but also for the low cost of living, cheap massages, convenience of city traveling and food of course. And did I mention that the public toilets are super clean? Even the toilets at Chatuchak were suprisingly clean, when thousands use it every hour! I can safely say that KLCC toilets pun kalah ok.

I can't wait to go back again, I think I left a little piece of my heart in Bangkok.

Something in the water..

2009-02-23T09:33:00.003+08:00

Phewh, what a weekend it has been. I'm so groggy here at my desk this morning. Hardly got any sleep, awakened every 30mins or so by Iskandar's tummy noises :P Poor guy must've ate sumthin bad last nite, had terrible food poisoning and finally puked it all out sometime round 3am. Speaking bout food poisoning, it seems like its been going around, this tummy flu bug. I took Friday off to take care of Imran. He's been having horrible tummy ache for 3 days already, throwing up, diaorrhea, fever, the works. My poor baby. Tasha, my niece also got the tummy flu Friday morning too and was throwing up all over, so my sis had to send her to Mum's place. I figured, poor Tokmi can't take care of 2 sick kids, so I decided to stay home and take care of Imran while Tasha stays at Tokmi's. He was a lil fretful, refusing the ORS and kept asking for "minum / sirap / oreng". I totally detested the ORS when I had tummy flu too. Whoever said ORS is good for you prolly has never tasted it himself. What a load of bull. It tastes like salty crap. His lips was so dried n cracked from dehydration, it was really sad to see him crying away asking for "minum". I chucked the ORS in de sink atfer a few hours n gave him Ribena and was so glad to see Imran sipping away.

He got a lil better on Sunday. Good timing coz MIL and family were coming over to stay that night. Was so happy to see him back to his usual self and enjoying the attention of his Atok, Tah and Uncle Har. Come Sunday nite, Iskandar pulak got hit by the tummy flu bug.

There must be something in the water I think. No wonder we Selangor folks got it for free.. :P

My personal thoughts

2009-02-13T11:17:00.002+08:00

The reason i started writing on this blog maybe similar to some, that is to express my personal feelings albeit anonymously. Sorta like keeping a personal diary online. I've never told anyone, even closest friends and family bout it. As far as my writings are concerned, I've been writing straight from my heart, things that I feel deeply about, things that are too personal to be discussed or too mushy to some people. For those who really know me, they would describe me as a no-nonsense, somewhat secretive, laidback and easy-going kinda girl. Kinda like Miranda from SATC, minus the baby-daddy drama. I've never shared my deepest thoughts and fears with friends.

Maybe that's one of the reasons I'm always left out of the loop when it comes to the drama or lovelives of my friends :P Thing is, I've always lived on these two principles, life and love should come easy. We can't sweat the small stuff but we also shouldn't ignore any warning bells in our heads, no matter how soft the ring is. Nobody's perfect, esp. me but that doesn't mean that my life is doomed. Love is hard work, but it shouldn't be too hard, to the point that you sacrifice your own feelings and principles. Otherwise, it's just not worth it and we should walkaway, no matter how hard it is to find someone to like, who fancies us in return in the first place. Especially when it comes to something so forbidden, like married men /women. That's just plain wrong. I've known a few who were in these kind of tormenting relationships. The heartache it leaves the lovers when its over is nothing compared to the broken lives of the spouses / children left in the trail.

But then again, some people are addicted to drama. It keeps them on their toes. I can admit having a bit of drama in my personal life. The fights were horrible but the making up is oh-so-sweet afterwards. Addictive stuff. But in time, esp after marriage, I've learnt that love doesn't deserve to be treated so lightly, that every little mistake should not be blown out of proportion to the point of shouting matches and harsh words. Love is above all that.

Contrary to what some would think, I do feel that we must put ourselves first before our partners. We should love and appreciate ourselves more than our partners do. Not to the point of being a selfish, heartless bitch but we must never let our self-worth or principles be compromised in the name of "love".

This Valentine's Day, I hope people would learn to love, respect and appreciate themselves more.

Kinky baby

2009-02-04T16:58:00.003+08:00

I felt my baby move a little few days ago - and in the most inappropriate circumstance. See, last Saturday we had a hen's dinner party for a girlfriend who's getting hitch this weekend. It was a nice dinner with a small group of close girlfriends. Typical noisy, chatty, gossippy nite out. The bride-to-be was her usual gorgeous and radiant self. We then adjourned to nearby PNB Darby Park for a nitecap and a game of charades. Bout half past midnite, I was starting to get sleepy but the host persuaded us to stay on as there was still another surprise for the bride-to-be.

Few minutes on and our doorbell was rang, and in comes two strange looking men. Ahah! U guessed it, strippers! We managed to prop our lil' bride on a chair, put on some kinky dance music on the CD player and one of the guys then started to do his "moves". It was hilarious and scary at the same time, we forgot that it was supposed to be sexy! Anyway, the stripper did his thing i.e. stripping, dirty dancing and showing off his notti moves, I thot I was back in Phatpong! Kinky stuff I tell ya. Anyway, I was just sitting there on my couch with a cushion half covering my face due to the "inappropriateness" haha when suddenly I felt a small kick in my belly. Not a strong kick, but felt more like a popped air bubble. It can't be the baby, i thought. Few mins later and "plop!" Another little kick. And all the while the stripper was still gyrating and grinding in front of me. The kicks were more frequent since then, I can't really tell whether he's kicking in excitement or he's just plain annoyed with the loud techno music. I have a horrible feeling that it's the former.

So I guess my baby's been corrupted even before he was born. Terrible! Told hubby when I got home and though he too found it funny that the baby is a horny lil bugger (is it even possible?) he insists on getting me headphones to play Quran verses.. sorta like to cleanse his mind again after that dirrty nite out with Mummy.

The kicks are getting stronger now. Its so exciting knowing that I'm halfway to meet my new "baby tibam". And I hope the baby will never know bout that stripper thing!

Zionist bastards

2009-01-20T17:16:00.002+08:00

I cried as I read this..damn the Zionist animals. No words can describe my disgust in them.
Nauzubillah.

Taken from
http://www.our-palestine.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=89:gaza-city-qdad-im-dyingq&catid=34:palestine-news

GAZA CITY — "Dad, I'm dying."

The words keep echoing in Kamal Awaga's ears, sending jolts of pain into his feeble, wounded body.

These were the last words uttered by his 9-year-old son, Ibrahim, before he ended up as a practicing target for Israeli soldiers.

"They killed my son in cold blood," says the grief-stricken father, still in a state of shock.

Ibrahim joined more than 350 children killed by Israel in its three-week onslaught on the coastal enclave.

But while others fell victim to killer bullets or deadly bombs, Ibrahim's fate was even more tragic.

He became a shooting practice for a squad of Israeli soldiers.

"The Israelis did not show mercy for his innocence," said his tearful father from his bed at the Al-Shefa hospital in Gaza City.

"They had no pity for his tiny body," added the heart-broken father.

A Sunny Day

Nothing in the day prepared the Awaga family for the tragic twist of events that unfolded.

They woke up to a sunny morning after days of being locked in one small room to escape the massive Israeli bombardment.

"Mom, let's have our breakfast out in the garden. I'm tired of staying in this room," the grieved mother recalls Ibrahim's plea.

An hour later, the table was set in the garden and the family was hoping to enjoy rare moments of peace, unaware of the eyes watching them from a distance.

A first missile stole the family's job before another destroyed their house.

"Dad, I am dying," cried Ibrahim to his father who rushed frantically to his side.

"Hurry, let's go," Awaga told his wife and two other children while carrying bleeding Ibrahim.

But even before they could reach the gate, a flood of bullets showered them.

One bullet hit the mother's leg and another hit the father's waist.

Ibrahim's two frightened brothers ran for cover behind the rubbles of their bombed-out house.

Shooting Practice

As the firing died down, the family thought their misery was over. But the Israeli soldiers were not finished yet.

"When the soldiers came closer, I thought they will kill me," said Awaga who faked being dead.

"But they were aiming at my young child," he said choking at the bitter memory.

One soldier came close to Ibrahim's body, turning him by his leg and laughing while another fired his gun to the dead boy's head.

Laughs got louder as they carried the body to a higher place to start their party.

For a whole hour, the father hushed his cries of pain as he watched the Israeli soldiers compete in sniping on his dead son's body.

"They were using his bullet-ridden, bleeding body as a shooting practice.

"With each bullet, they were humming with words I could not figure out, but it sounded full of rapture. It was as if they were celebrating."

When they finally had enough "practicing," the Israelis took their guns and left the house.

Four complete days passed before emergency doctors were able to find their way to the family and rush them to hospital.

"What did my son do to deserve that?" Awaga asks, shaking his head in disbelief.

"The Israelis killed my kid, not once or twice but a thousand times."

I miss my girlfriends

2009-01-02T15:39:00.008+08:00

Was on the phone with one of my best girlfrens and was shocked to hear of some horrible things endured by another close girlfriend of ours. never once during the few times that i saw her did she mention her troubles to me.. and we used to be really close, meeting up for after work drinks and chit chat at least twice a week. so upsetting.. my fault i know. i'm so guilty for not being in touch with my girlfriends as much as i should. life has just been so consuming, with work, family and household matters to worry about. but i should have made more time for friends, more so during difficult times they had to go through. had a long chat with my other friend who told me the summarized version of all the things i missed for the past few months. it made me feel somewhat upset that i've been kept out of the loop all the while but i realize that it's partly my fault for not caring enough to pick up the phone and call them up for coffee or just to check how they're doing. maybe i won't be much help to the situation but at least i can let them know that i'm always here for them for support.

it's a new year and my resolution for this year is to make more time for friends. now that i've got a new maid it's time to get my social life back on track! i only have a few months of mobility before i get too big to move my fat arse anyway!

tomorrow we're having a girly lunch at my bestie's. can't wait to catch up with my friends and just absorb every single detail. let hubby take charge at home for once :)

Here's to Girlfriends!

Year End Update

2008-12-26T09:22:00.002+08:00

We're supposed to submit our Year End Update report for all clients on our WIP..and I had about easily 100+ YEUs to go through and submit..WHICH I have done, mind you hehehe. of course with the help of my super efficient secretary Kak Rozi :) So now that that's done, all I need to do is issue out one more report and I'm done for the year! Well..not exactly. still have a huge pile on my table to clear and a thousand phonecalls to make and return but just haven't got around to do it. Been terribly busy the past weeks and was on MC several days due to a sprained ankle. So upset that I had to break my own record of MCs this year. aanyways, I guess the pile will have to wait till next year. My boss is away on a sabbatical anyway so I still can't get much things moving without him around.

So here's my Year End Update for my blog pulak. This year's been an okay year I guess.. I try to limit or block out dramas as much as I can but some things are just unavoidable..you know, one of those curve balls life throws at you, that sorta thing. Like having Imran going through surgery to remove a cyst on his upper lip.. moving house drama, maid drama etc. But I guess all that is considered chicken feet compared to what others more unfortunate had to go through. The most recent are those affected by the Bkt Antarabangsa landslide. My heart goes out to those who lost their homes and loved ones that Saturday morning.

With all that's happening with the rest of the world, I am thankful for my share of good and bad this year. Thankful for my handsome and loving husband, adorable son, our new kitty and of course my precious family and friends. Next year's gonna be pretty exciting I reckon with the upcoming arrival of another new addition to the family!

I'm guessing this will be my last post for 2008.. for anyone who's reading, hope the year was good for you too. Till we meet again.. Adieu!

Just another manic Monday

2008-12-01T15:58:00.000+08:00

i have so many things on my mind but i just can't focus on any of them right now. last weekend was such a whirlwind of weddings and sleepless days and nights. half of it i blame to the exhaustion from doing the routine housework..a routine which i find to be more and more a burden as i tire easily maybe coz of the pregnancy or lack of sleep the night before. maybe both. and to make things worse, i have songs perpetually stuck in my head! currently it's jamiroquai's "Canned Heat". so annoying! imagine trying to get some shut eye after a long day and u have a mini disco running in your brain! so today i came to work - groggy and even more exhausted than during last friday nite when i had to go thru a horrible two-hour crawl along jalan raja chulan traffic in the rain.

i think it's time for another vacation.

6 weeks and counting..

2008-11-18T15:06:00.000+08:00

Had another appointment with Dr.Alex today. Just to check on the baby's heartbeat since he couldn't detect it during the last scan 2 weeks ago. Syukur alhamdulillah, everything looks well and good in there. Amazing how a thing so teeny-tiny could have a heartbeat! Also such a relief to actually confirm that baby's really in there. So far it's de same as my last preg, no cravings, no quirky habits, nausea or other preg related symptoms. Not that I'm asking for it but sometimes I'm not sure if he/she's really in there coz i don't experience any weird symptoms.

Broke the news to my in-laws last weekend when we flew over, all three of us. MIL's so excited, she took out all her old baby albums of the boys and told the story of all three pregnancies. Looking at Izzudin's pic somewhere round 2-3 yrs old cant help but notice how he and Imran looked SO alike round that age!Of course in between albums she didn't stop dropping hints that she wants a cucu girl this time :) pressure..pressure..

Dr.Alex remarked that I've put on quite a bit of weight which is not expected this early on! Hahaha, guilty me! No thanks to all those tall glasses of Milo shake I've been having everyday in Brunei! Sinfully delicious things, those Milo shakes. How I miss you so. Gina's scrumptious roast chicken didn't help much in the diet department either. And lets not forget MIL's best ever melts-in-your-mouth cheesecake! aahh..heavenly things.

Tomorrow I'm driving to Kuantan for some bridge inspections. Have to remind myself to be extra careful when I go over and under the bridges. Will scribble a note on my palm for that.

The thin red line

2008-10-28T16:29:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning, brushed my teeth, washed my face and took the test no.i-dunno-what-i-lost-count-already. Had a warm shower, stepped out, towel dried myself and checked the dipstick just cukup syarat only coz I sorta expected another blank window again. But to my surprise, the window showed a faint, verrrry faint red line. It wasnt even red, but sorta light pink. So I was like, ahh what de heck, must be another negative and chucked de thing in the wastebin.

Few minutes later and I'm rummaging through the bin like a homeless tramp looking for food, yes, my curiosity got the better (or worse) of me. Found the rumpled metal pack with the dipstick inside, pulled it out slowly this time and there it was - bright red lines on both the C and T window!

Went to my panel doc again for another test to confirm, at Iskandar's insistence coz he still can't believe it i.e. in denial and...yes it's confirmed. Baby no.2 is on the way ;-)

Raya!

2008-09-29T09:24:00.000+08:00

It's Monday, 2 days to the much anticipated Raya break. Not so looking fwd to stuffing myself with the typical Raya fatty-but-goody foodies but more to waking up in the morning and enjoying that hot cuppa coffee..mmm.. cutting down on caffeine has always been the toughest cabaran for me every Ramadhan and I'm so glad that I can finally indulge myself anytime anywhere at least for the next 11 or so months.

My in-laws are finally here. Flew in last week, the whole bunch of them. Even their maid tagged along ;-) Hubby managed to sweet talk MIL to "borrow" her maid for a day to help with the cleaning and cooking on Raya. Not planning a spread to feed the country but just a simple dish or two to go with the usual ketupat / lemang / rendang fare for the family and friends who may swing by. Managed to do most of the house work last weekend which was just torture!! I hate doing house work coz when I start, I get really anal and OCD bout it that I just find myself cleaning and scrubbing one thing after another non-stop! Can't stand the sight of a smudge or stain even the tiniest grease smudge on the cooker hob would get me on all fours and start attacking the whole kitchen with my sponge and Zip Super All Purpose Cleaner.

I'm sitting at my workdesk as I'm blogging. So takde mood to do anything work-ish haha. I'm just blissfully ignoring the piles of files and documents I'm supposed to go through. Bet the rest of you working Malay yuppies in KL are feeling the same.

Till next post, here's a wish for a blessed Aidilfitri for everyone.

Ramadhan stress

2008-09-02T09:33:00.000+08:00

I've finally succumbed to the flu bug over the weekend - what worse timing, with Ramadhan looming near and in laws flying in at round the same time. To make it worse, I sorta passed the bug to my son, the poor guy. He hasn't been eating well due to the cough n cold. Feel terrible for him. He seldom gets sick like that and to hear him coughing away into the night really makes me sad. I miss his cheery, cheeky self! Damn u stupid virus.

Anyway it's been decided that this year's Raya will be celebrated at our house, yes that's right, OUR HOUSE! oh, panic! shock! horror! To add to the stress, this will be the first in 10 years that my hubby's family are together to celebrate Hari Raya. I've never played host to such a major family event! And our house seems so..incomplete to cater for the whole family! Need to furnish the bedrooms, get some rugs, curtains, plants etc. Not mentioning the COOKING to be done! Must start looking for foolproof rendang and lontong recipes pronto!

No news yet on the maid, this Bandung woman better come soon, I'm getting nervous thinking bout this :-(

Out Of Office

2008-08-22T10:06:00.000+08:00

Counting the hours till end of today, can't wait to get away with the boys this weekend for the much needed R&R. Plus it's gonna be the first beach holiday for Imran and I can't wait to see if he enjoys the sun, sand and sea as much as Mummy and Daddy does. Also for the spa session at the resort - I've been dying to try it out the last 3-4 times I stayed there but never actually made it out the room door due to severe exhaustion from the long drive and longer day with the client.

Fasting month is approaching soon - not really looking fwd to the long days of hunger but am kinda hopeful that I'll finally shed off the last 2 kilos of damn persistent post-baby weight. Wishful thinking? You bet. OK, I'll try my utmost best to make up excuses to not attend any buka puasa buffets with clients. Yes, I said I'll try. But seriously, its kinda depressing to look into the mirror and seeing how out of shape I am. sigh..

*Mental note - I will start going for evening brisk walks again. While carrying an 11kg, 2yr old. ha ha haa.

Ok, time to switch on my Out Of Office mode on my email box now to inform that I'll be away till next Wednesday. Though it's only 10:30am ;-P

Hope for one Anak Bangsa Malaysia

2008-08-19T11:11:00.000+08:00

Found this open letter to Anwar Ibrahim on Haris Ibrahim's blog. Having read it, I'd say that it does represent what I, personally, (and many others - looking at the response posted) feel and would say to him if given the chance.

Have a read here.

To daycare or not to daycare

2008-08-19T10:07:00.000+08:00

Every now and then I call my mum to check on how she's doing with Imran, whether he's been troublesome, naughty etc. The boy's been such a picky eater these past few days that Mum has totally given up trying to feed him proper foods other than milk. My research on the matter tells me to be consistent during mealtimes, and not force him if he doesn't want to eat. I read that toddlers are smart enough not to starve themselves and will ask for food when he's hungry. In this case, Imran just asks for milk and sometimes roti, buah or cake, if he feels like it. Even so, he won't finish the whole roti, buah or cake portion but merely picks at it and take a few nibbles, that's it. I still make him different foods to try every night during dinner and am patiently waiting for him to get his appetite back. Iskandar bought a book on toddler food recipes which is great. I can't wait to try them on him but now with his appetite, I'm not too excited to start yet.

We checked out this daycare centre just behind my office last week. From our chat with the headmistress and walkabout after, the place seems perfect for our little boy. Hopefully with other kids around, he'll be more open to try different foods and develop more on his vocabulary. Maybe the teachers can toilet train him too :P He's a very sociable and active boy and I'm sure he'll enjoy the activities and company of other kids other than us boring grown-ups. The thing is, my Mum isn't too keen to let him go. She's been taking care of him since he was born and says that she'll be so lonely without Imran. Dilemma! On one hand, I know how difficult and tiring it is to run after a 2-yr old and I want to release Mum off this burden - but at the same time, I do not want her to feel lonely.

I'm hoping that our new maid will arrive soon. That way we can get our lives back on track and Mum will get to watch her sinetrons in peace. The agent said she'll try her best to get one within 3 weeks. She'd better put our RM3,600.00 (and that's just the deposit!) to good use..

Weekend To-do list

2008-08-15T16:26:00.000+08:00

With the maid gone, I'll have to plan out my weekend carefully to keep my family and home happy, safe, fed and in order for the next week at least.

Super(Fabulous)Mom's Weekend To-do list:

Laundry - sheets, clothes and baby's
House cleaning - esp the basement area, toys, underneath the couch (yes no avoiding anymore)
Change sheets
Pull out weeds in the backyard and water the greens
Scrub the toilets and sinks
Cook!
Prepare Imran's meals for the next few days
Clean the fridge and scrub sotong stains off freezer (yuk)
Wash car porch and pick up the pebbles thrown by Imran into the drains
Wash Imran's and my muddy shoes from last weekend's dusun visit

Last but not least - the most dreaded chore - Ironing :P maybe I'll make muka kesian at hubby again and psyche him into doing it again this week!

I am SuperMom

2008-08-12T10:47:00.000+08:00

Our domestic maid of 2 years conveniently decided to quit with 24hours notice just after we've renewed her work permit for another year. What a waste of time and $$$ and not forgetting the hassle!! Went to the Immigration to cancel the permit, attempted and failed miserably to get a refund despite sweet talking the pegawai to death :P I must be losing my charm, no the guy must be gay, haha, yes that's it.

Anyway, we sent her off on the first boat out to Dumai the next morning and went home to a dusty, messy home. Went into Stepford-wife mode and spent the rest of the day just cleaning, dusting, picking up dirty clothes and toys, doing the laundry, cooking, feeding Imran, playing with him and put him down for a nap. Phew! Can't believe how hard it must be for my mum taking care of us 4 growing kids and a home, being a single parent pulak tu (Daddy passed away when I was 5). I can so understand her frustration that time, and I feel for her coz Daddy wasn't there for her, as I have Iskandar (love you babe).

It's not so bad really, I'm used to doing housework before having a baby, just that we've been so spoilt and pampered having a maid to do all the dirty work while I lay stupid on the couch watching channel E or Bold & Beautiful.

Juggling between work, cooking, cleaning, laundry and caring for a hyperactive and picky eater 2-yr old is definitely not easy. But it's only been 3 days, so I hope to get my groove back and ease into being SuperMom in no time. I guess I'll have to say goodbye to datenights, kofi2 and gossip sessions with my girlfriends and eventually any form of social interaction other than at Kizsports & Gym until we get a new maid which is gonna take months.

Till that time, say hello to Super(Fabulous)Mom!

brownies

2008-07-25T12:07:00.000+08:00

friday's finally here, yeay! but tonite won't be so yeay for me - just got 6 orders of brownies from a friend who's expecting her 2nd kid - mengidam la nih. so, u know what they say bout an expectant mum's cravings - to be fulfilled at all costs or else! or else apa pun tak tau, but yea the pantang larang is like that. it is said that if a mum's craving is not satisfied, her baby will be endlessly drooling, u know like how we girls get around shoes, bags, men etc. that we so badly want but can't get ;-) tsk tsk..so yeah i don't wanna be held responsible for that.

on the other hand, i quite like doing this baking stuff. cliche as it sounds, it really is relaxing and therapeutic for me. especially when im working with chocolates. i just love the texture and scent of melted dark chocolate. yum. it all started when a close cousin of ours who's been our regular supplier of these heavenly brownies moved away to dublin 2 yrs ago. of course we missed her and the kids very much but for me it's far more painful as i was SO addicted to her brownies. went to try others but they were just no match for hers! so when a close friend invited me to attend a cooking class, which includes making brownies, i jumped at the chance! after several adjustments to the recipe and switching some of the ingredients, i can say that i have sorta perfected my craft of making the perfect scrrrumptious brownies (to me at least). then it was time to try it out with friends and relatives. needless to say, they all love it, with repeat orders coming in day by day, esp. during raya period. made quite good money too!

now if only i can find a contact to hook me up with secret recipe for the supply of brownies at their restaurants..

happy weekend, all!

he's 2!

2008-07-09T12:05:00.000+08:00

my son is turning two in two days. and what an amazing two years it has been bringing up this little person. the sleepless nights, high pitched screams, vomits, tantrums etc all seem to melt away when i think of the tremendous joy he's brought into my life. that gorgeous toothy smile of his.. gosh this angel/devil of a kid can get away with anything!

to imran who probly won't ever get to read this for at least until he's 10 - Happy 2nd Birthday my precious son, you are the best thing that ever happened to mummy n daddy... sorry for not being able to stay home and play with you every day, you know there's nothing in the world we'd rather do than spend time with you. but mummy n daddy have to work until we pay off all our loans and until daddy's boss gives him another 10k pay raise so mummy can finally quit her job and start off our own bakery/childcare/kayaball business.

anyways, am planning a small do for his birthday this weekend..not like last years' big bash with entertainers galore :P just family this time. setting up the kiddy pool and a little buffet table for the kiddies in the backyard while the adults can makan2 inside. hope the weather is kind that day.

it's off to toys r us now for the party paraphernalia!

hmm..

2008-07-02T09:14:00.000+08:00

hmm..the political situation in this country is getting really worrying. in one hand, it's been quite an exciting few months since the March GE but the ensuing twists and turns of events are not so promising with the scandal involving the judiciary, the phenomenal comeback of a former political pariah, the was she/wasnt she involvement of the DPM's wife in the blowing-up-to-bits of her hubby's alleged lover and now a fresh allegation of unsavoury sex acts involving the former political pariah which got the whole world (well, at least the US which might as well be the whole world) screaming foul. ive always been a quiet admirer (not necessarily supporter) of anwar albeit not being a registered voter myself (dont believe in any of the of the contending parties) . initially the allegations seems like a desperate act of the higher powers to bring him down again but now that he's got his ass (pun intended) backed up by Washington and probly their allies sorta affirms the issue of him actually being a pawn to the US in gaining control of the running of this country and her economy. and come to think of it, is the PM/DPM/whoever hates his guts dumb enough to actually come up with this gigantically idiotic plot to take him down by using the same accusations in 98 that at the end of the day was proven false by the courts?

whatever it is, the timing couldnt be worse. with the ppl still reeling over the blow from the recent huge increase of fuel price and rising costs of living, another national crisis like this could cripple our economy as the impending recession (albeit speculation) looms near. makes an average jane like me shudder to think bout the future of her family in this once prosperous country.

i should seriously put some thoughts into our proposed kaya ball business plan now... times are hard and likely to get harder.

the test

2008-06-30T15:41:00.000+08:00

we've recently started trying for a second kid. its only our second month into the "ordeal" haha, not the process of course, but the agonizing wait for the next expected period, which to our despair, came and went. so its almost the time of the month and stupid ol excited me impulsively bought myself another preg test kit. gosh just thinking bout the dipstick in my bag is pure torture! wanted so much to take the test immediately just to put myself out of this misery. at the same time, its just so hard to bear to see yet another blank window.

wish me luck! am gritting my teeth with anxiety as im writing this!

Inferiority complex

2008-06-27T15:48:00.000+08:00

Thank god its Friday. Taking my parents out for seafood dinner later - owe them so much after putting up with us freeloaders for the past 2 yrs :P Mum told me also that we dont have to return the money we owed her for the house renovations - sort of her housewarming gift to us! Love you Mum! naturally hubby felt uncomfortable of accepting such an "expensive gift" after all we have NOT done for her. he insist on giving her some money every month. sukati lah. Im just glad that now we can really concentrate on doing up the house nicely and also to replenish our zero-ed bank accounts!

Hubby called to whine bout one of our..say, acquaintances he bumped into during lunch, and how she was going on and on, bragging and comparing her kid with ours! like how he can count up to 10 and stuff. SO insecure lah that woman. I admit, imran's no einstein (yet) but he ain't a dumb kid either. de lil guy really knows his way to get what he wants.with that cheeky smile, whimper2 and when all else fails - the infamous 16-octave scream that can match Mariah anytime. all that aside, hey, let a kid be a kid, i'll say. I've been getting loadsa crap in my email bout the food we should/should not give our kid, activities for the kid, classes to enrol them in etc.etc. so as to raise a so-called child genius. and it really annoys the crap out of me. so what if my 2-yr old can't count and says "aperteetee" instead of "butterfly" and "hoyeek" instead of "shoes"? he's still the cutest, most adorable and perfect child to me and I will make sure that he has a healthy, wholesome and happy childhood, with parents who will be there for him every step of the way, much like the way I was brought up. and if it means keeping him away from overly insecure parents (relatives, friends) who cant stop comparing our kids, then so be it.

a long hiatus

2008-06-26T12:36:00.000+08:00

it has been 4yrs since my last post - guess its only fair to provide just what's been happening with my life throughout the times. Well, for the past two years, Ive got pregnant, gave birth to an adorable baby boy and moved back to live with my parents while waiting for our new house to be completed. Finally moved into our new place just last week after months of blood, sweat, tears and curses!

how's that for a quick update?

more later.

anniversary!

2004-10-21T17:53:00.001+08:00

we celebrated out first wedding anniversary on monday..hubby sent flowers to my office that got evryone ejek-ing me..but the best part was when i got home,i was greeted with this nice portrait of us on our wedding day-with a post it note n a heart-shaped chocolate wrapped in red.there was a clue on it which led to a few other clues as to wher my present is kept..it was really cute!he got me running all over the house searching for clues!mcm budak kecik!..oh yes,in the end i found my present..a yummy lingerie set n a cuddly stuffed cat.he knows im crazy bout cats..

wow..its been a year since were married..wat a crazy roller-coaster year too.so fast time flies.quite a challenge to get to wher we r today tho..almost lost ourselves at one point.the fights,sulks,tears..n how we managed to get thru each of it by thinking back bout the reason we got married in the first place..love.n somehow all the fights seemed to fade out.all is forgiven..somehow we saw that nothing is worth risking our love and sacred bond. ever.and in the end we always manage to come to a solution to each issue that got us fighting at the first place.

i hope the coming years will be kinder..

thank god its friday!

2004-10-08T22:16:00.000+08:00

wow,been a while since i last wrote in here..pretty bz wif de new job..its been great so far..juz the breath of fresh air ive been waiting for.environmt's great,office is snazzy n the work is exciting!i love it!so cant wait to got to work next week hehe.my boss is cool too,juz watching him n listening to him while he solves a crisis wif de clients is juz inspiring.i juz wish i can hv more hours in a day to pick his brains out.

weekend's here..oya,its the malaysian idol finals weekend too!my pick?JAC lah of course.such a beautiful,beautiful voice.siti whats-her-name's days are numbered!

goin back to kg tomoro..to visit my poor old sick granma..she's recovering frm dengue fever..poor nenek.feel bad coz havent been goin back to see her for quite some time.guilty of taking things for granted?well...yeah i guess.looking fwd to see her coz we wont be goin back for raya.spending raya wif in laws in brunei instead.biasa lah,hv to take turns lah hehe.quite looking fwd to that too..cant wait to catch up wif our frens there..lyah shud be all blown up by now!im sure the baby will look as gorgeous as she is..n lovely marilyn n her super macho man :)..mike n her dramas hehe..cant wait to see all of em again.great bunch of ppl.

ok lah,hubby's out of the shower..god he's been in there almost an hour!gile mandi bunga ke apa!!
oh ya,its friday nite..SHAG nite! :) i mean,evrynite can be shag nite but friday's a bit special lah hehe..ok,gonna light up the candles..put on some bryan mcknight..get the mood on ya know what im sayin? :)

here's to a great weekend!

hun-dy i have a blocked nn-dose..

2004-09-30T07:12:00.000+08:00

feel so damn groggy today.chilly nite last nite n din get much sleep coz my nose was blocked.how crappy is that..had a long day n was so looking forward to crash on the bed tapi ended tossing n turning n bugging the shit out of my man with my restlessness :P nothing worked;i took a sleeping pill,had vicks vaporub slathered all over my chest n nose,propped my pillows higher ..din work..i think i passed out at one point coz i woke up in a rather awkward position..with a stiff neck,and two huge kuih pau-sized eyebags!

ive juz finished clearing out my desk..still need to look for a big box to dump all my stuff in.god i hv a lot of junk,lets see..toothbrush,toothpaste,nailclipper,files n folders,organizers,keychains,kitkats,my huge collection of sharpened pencils(cant stand unsharpened pencils!),mineral water bottles,payslips,photos,tax return forms,technical manuals,bank statements,cellphone bills,textbooks,magazines,posters,paperbags,cellphone charger,and last but not least,my huge trusty coffee mug which has helped a lot during those stressful times and long nites at work.

can't believe im actually gonna leave this place tomorrow.dunno lah..as much as i hate this place,i know im gonna miss it so much too.its always been a love-hate relationship i guess,'tween me n this place.

i remembered having big dreams of bringing up this place 2 years ago,changed all outdated equipment so that our service will be more reliable and efficient to the public..also tried to change my staffs' working attitude so that they will work better together..did i succeed?oh well,unfortunately,the company's dire financial status sort of membantutkan some of my plans of upgrading the system and network..but a lot had been done and improved which is good enough for me.but i dunno bout the attitude change part.i see most of them are quite ok about taking orders from a young,female boss.maybe the time when i renovated the whole office complete with brand new plush furniture n fresh coat of paint(peach!)helped me into their hearts a bit.oh god,u would never imagine what i felt when i first stepped into this office..my initial thoughts were like.."damn,is this where im gonna spend 10hours of living a day??its a bloody reban ayam!!" i admit there are a few who r a bit skeptical n cynical bout the way i run my little unit here..but id like to think that i did my best here,did whatever i could to help and motivate my staff to work better.din juz order ppl around,got my hands dirty too doing the job with them.

..now off to greener pastures!!mooooo!!

not so manic monday

2004-09-28T01:39:00.000+08:00

weekend came and went too fast!blurhg..so not ready for monday :(
aaanyways,last nite had a family dinner thing.celebrated my bro's 28th bday.it was fun,haven't seen my lovely nieces n nephews for a while.as i was holding my bro's 3 month old baby,Emelda,sleeping and drooling in my arms..god i cant wait to hv one of these beautiful things of my own.
next year ok,sayang..i hope he/she will have his beautiful eyes..and my curly hair! :) ..sshhhh..i secretly hope the first one is a girl too!
counting the days until i start my new job.still havent start clearing out my desk tho..kesian my colleague who will be taking over my post here,hv to squeeze into one of the small cubicles while waiting for me to vamos.
today's going by painfully slowly..cant wait for friday - alicia keys coming to town!

down bad memory lane

2004-09-26T03:27:00.000+08:00

hubby suggested dat we go down to seremban and visit our old skools over there..juz to see how much things have changed(if any).he used to go to KTJ n i was a TKC girl.its not that i hate the skool,it was the most fun time of my life..the frens i had..still as close as ever with the girls.however many fond memories i had while i was there for 5 years,there was still this little black dot in my memory book.a black mark ive managed to block out for so many years now.you see,the more closer i got to my skool frens,the more far apart i got with my parents and family.i never really got over the thought that i was actually sent there by my parents so that they can be rid of me.ok,maybe that's not wat they actually said to me but that was how i felt.i mean,id always had the idea that im not the favorite child in the family,and sending me away for 5 years just about confirms it.it was horrible..seeing all my other frens' with their parents n siblings..laughing together,picnic-ing round de skool greens..family weekend outings..while i literally had to beg,pujuk,even cried on de many phone calls to my mum..juz to make them come visit me.juz to remind them about the other daughter here who really2 needed their love,assurance and support..i felt abandoned here..like they didnt care at all,like they're relieved that im out of their sight.all i needed was to be in constant contact with my family,to know wat's goin on in their lives,to share the hell stuff i had to go thru here..instead,they cut me off.i truly despised them at one point.exam seasons were the worst,while other parents came down to visit their kids and give moral support,i had to lock myself up in my room n pujuk myself.it was terrible..during PMR n SPM,they couldnt be bothered to even see me n wish me luck n doakan me!n all this while they were staying a merely 45 mins away!

but that was then..eversince i left skool n came home,was really difficult,getting used to being a part of the family again.conversations were always short,polite and very awkward.quarreled with my mom constantly.she was always criticising my frens,my life,decisions i make,the guys i go out with.i felt that she had no right whatsoever to do all these things to me.she never cared for 5 years,why start now?i kept mostly to myself in my room n spent more time with my frens.until now,even when im married,i still consider myself a stranger to my family.hardly see them..only on special occasions like birthdays..but i try harder now that i no longer live with them.they're still the only family i have right..ive been able to block out the bad times i had at skool..but im not ready yet to go back n be reminded of those awful times.even writing about this is painful..

about sarcasm

2004-09-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

we were having dinner one rainy nite when hubby asked me this.
"Yang,do u think i'm a sarcastic person?"
it so happened that his boss comented on his knack at sarcasm.
as a matter of fact,i answered,Yes,you are.
even me,the Queen of Mean;ive managed to mellow down and swallow my nasty remarks(most!) whenever he asks or says anything even remotely..err..senseless(?) eversince we got married last year.a sense of respect for my husband,maybe,but surely its because i know those nasty remarks hurt and cuts deep into your heart;especially when it came from the one you love most.pedihnya hati.
i mean,is sarcasm necessary when you've known eachother inside out,and trust eachother completely that all your thoughts and feelings can(or should) be shared and respected as its own?
if you dont agree with anything;just plainly say so.minus the sarcasm and tone.i deserve that much respect as a wife

new job

2004-09-22T03:28:00.000+08:00

yep,i'm finally getting my ass out of this shithole place im workin at now for good.another 9 days and ill be rid of this fugly place.i'm amazed as for how i managed to tahan working here for 2 n a half years anyways.even my bosses and colleagues are amazed that i lasted this long.haha.the job itself is great,very interesting and is sooo what i want to do when i graduated 2 yrs ago.But sadly,the attitude of the ppl working here..macam sampah.its hard to get things done when u work with a bunch of ppl who do nothing,keras kepala,complacent and always looking for something to complain about.complain,complain,complain!semua nya salah;boss salah,management salah,government salah,dia sorang je betul.classic malay attitude lah.hard to admit but this is the reality i face every single day of my working life and its so destructive to my career that I had to find my way out.I accepted the position at first coz to me it'll be a great opportunity to be a part of a giant organization.loads to learn and experience.but i never once thought that the attitudes of certain ppl would be but a hindrance to me achieving my goals here.stress levels gone up to the red zone too.
so,im moving to a new company as of 1st Oct.smaller company,no doubt,but definitely looking forward to the change of environment.fresh start,fresh faces,more challenges.was kinda hard making my decision to leave coz i really love what i do here.thanks to dear hubby for supporting my decision;even helping me draft my resignation letter.most importantly,for backing me up when my parents and siblings kutuk me for leaving such an established organization for a smaller fry..
ok,gotta go now.later.

First Post

2004-09-22T02:49:00.000+08:00

aaahh..finally,a lil spot of my own.my thoughts.my feelings.my opinions.
but what shud i write about?
my life?my marriage?my job?
my life is boring..my marriage's great n my job sucks.that about sums it all i guess.
what else??
ok..ill take it easy lah for dis first post..nothing heavy..baby steps,they say.
will write more later lah..so blurred out now that i finally have my own blogspot.tah hape hape la..